Dear Sasha, Nothing calms me down more after a hard day in the salt mines than to slip in my favourite adult film and have a nice wank. My new girlfriend, from whom I do not hide my habit, finds this utterly revolting. It’s not that she objects to me pulling the pud, her problem is with the medium. She has the usual things to say: the women are taken advantage of and their reactions and bodies are unrealistic. I counter with the fact that many of them are in charge of their careers and have made good and principled livings, some even branching out to literary/advice careers, proving there is some value to their place in sexual culture beyond just quick relief.
—Just a Jerk
Dear Jerk,
A porn star offering guidance about sex and relationships is a little like an actor who plays a doctor on television doling out medical advice. Being able to pretend you can do something skilfully doesn’t automatically provide you with the ability to do it with genuine competence and passion. This is not to say that there aren’t some excellent sex advice books penned by porn actors. Both Nina Hartley and Annie Sprinkle have contributed amazing work to the genre. Regardless, porn actors don’t require more virtuous endeavours to validate their work. Providing a few moments of daily peace to a harried citizen has great value in and of itself.
Of all the things your girlfriend could focus on that you (and she) consume involving coerced or unhappy labour, porn should be the least of her concerns. The open acknowledgement of potential exploitation has created excellent internal support systems like Adult Industry Medical (aim-med.org) and dedicated, talented directors like Anna Span, Paul Thomas and Shine Louise Houston, giving the consumer some truly decent options. And if porn stars present an unrealistic image, well, then they’re doing their job because that is a keystone of fantasy. Like much work, porn acting is complex. There are good days, bad days and those in between. We accept this as a function of labour. Why should it be any different in this business?
Dear Sasha, I have a female friend, aged 57, whose ambition is to have her breasts enlarged to astronomical dimensions. She believes that such an operation will yield her to be far more attractive to older men with millionaire status desiring a life partner and provide her with lifetime financial security. The problem is that she desires implants in the 700cc to 900cc range, which may be complicated given her body structure and age. Furthermore, she can ill afford this major cosmetic enhancement (estimated price $10,000). Where can this woman get implants done by a competent surgeon, preferably within the provinces of Quebec or Ontario, for minimal fees or, if possible, for free?
-Dov
Dear Dov,
Free? As Nadia Rende—registered nurse and assistant to plastic surgeon Dr. Thomas A. Bell—says, “In simple terms, no.” Reduced? Certainly, and here’s how it works: Dr. Bell teaches at the University of Toronto’s plastic surgery department and, just like many medical teaching facilities, the department offers reduced-rate surgeries from residents and fellows. If a resident does your surgery, the supervising surgeon is scrubbed in and may assist. If a fellow (basically someone who is just weeks away from being fully qualified) does it, the supervising surgeon oversees the details but isn’t necessarily in the O.R.
The program was launched six months ago and there are four other doctors who work with residents and fellows. This may still be outside your friend’s budget, though, as they only offer about a third off the going rate. She may also have trouble convincing a surgeon to do such a large augmentation. If she is small-breasted to begin with, she would require “expanding,” something that is done on women who have had mastectomies and which involves stretching the skin in preparation for the implant. Dr. Bell doesn’t do this and I’m going to guess that doctors who do aren’t offering reduced-rate surgeries. Not through reputable universities anyway.
Got any questions for Sasha? E-MAIL: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM
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