PALE BY
COMPARISON

Good on the Myrtle Beach, SC, police for proving that justice truly is blind. And best of luck to them as they search for the 18-year-old white kid who strolled out of their drunk tank by claiming to be a 34-year-old black man. No burnt cork necessary. The teen just relied on good, old-fashioned incompetence.

Richard Daniel Wines was tossed in the Myrtle Beach clink for five days of life lessons after he pleaded guilty to public intoxication. But a few hours into his first day, spirit broken, nearly feral, Wines saw an opportunity to escape when detention officers called the names of those to be freed that morning. Among them, Jonathan Jermain Gardner—a man nearly twice Wines’s age and of heartier eumelanin levels. Wines stepped forward and declared himself Gardner. Good enough for the cops on duty. Wines was handed Gardner’s personal belongings and sent on his way.

“It was an error to release him and we’re handling it internally,” explained MBPD spokesman Jamie Varn. The real Jonathan Gardner, who was asleep when police called his name, was released later that afternoon when police realised something had gone awry. Wines, should he be caught,

by SCOTT SAXON