Bare
buzzard bait

It isn’t uncommon for a freelance writer to be away from home, naked. Usually we’re just entertaining models and the wives of heads-of-state who are fascinated by our breadth of knowledge and enormous penises. But there’s always one, isn’t there? And right now, that one is South Lake Tahoe’s Dean Richard Mark. First found face down and tied to a rock by some high school students, the 53-year-old self-professed freelance writer later tried to explain away his nudity by blaming it on a curiosity as to the behaviour of buzzards.

Three students say they asked Mark if he needed to be untied when they came upon his naked and apparently restrained form lying in a field near Whittell High School. Mark assured them he needed no assistance. The students left, but returned a short while later to find Mark clothed and heading toward the school grounds. When Mark was eventually seen on school grounds, police were called to deal with him.

Asked about the reason for his nudity, Mark claimed that “there were buzzards flying overhead and I wanted to see what they did.”

He was arrested and held in lieu of bail for “being naked near school property.”

by SCOTT SAXON