Punch drunk

by ERIK LEIJON

As far as long-neglected gaming franchises go, Nintendo cartoon boxing brawler Punch-Out!! (Wii/Nintendo, Next Level) ranks up there with the likes of Battletoads and Infocom’s frightening text adventure Lurking Horror in terms of titles in desperate need of a dramatic, 21st century makeover. When popular freebie Wii-Sports taught curious gamers the ins and outs of the Wii motion-sensitive remote, one of the pack-in’s most popular mini-games was the boxing one, curiously foreshadowing what Punch-Out!! for Wii could be like.

Punch-Out!! largely derives from this mini-game’s remote controls while retaining the same gameplay, characters and design as the 1988 Nintendo original (starring ferocious but pre-crazy heavyweight champ Mike Tyson) and the 1994 Super Nintendo sequel. For long-suffering Punch-Out!! fans feeling down for the count, let it be known the champ is most certainly back. Unfortunately, that champ is a 45-year old George Foreman landing a lucky punch against Michael Moorer, not a 24-year old Foreman sending Smokin’ Joe Frazier to the canvas.

Punch-Out!! will amuse and excite for a few hours, but despite a seemingly new, more intuitive way to control Rocky-esque protagonist Little Mac in the ring, Punch-Out!! is depressingly traditionalist. Utilizing the same left-right-duck-block dodging controls, the fights remain a series of easily solvable puzzles where once you figure out each opponent’s unique punch timing, it becomes a matter of repeating the correct steps until your foe is knocked out. Tyson aside, the original characters are all back, and not much else—although, admittedly, there is a certain fanboyish reassurance in seeing my old arch-rivals return in 3D form.

The lack of genuine Wii innovation is what’s most disconcerting about this long-awaited reboot, since the sweet science is a sport tailor made for the Wii remote’s tendency to turn every game into an arm-flinging exercise. The option exists to either play with the nunchuk and remote, swinging as one would actual fists, or to harken back to the NES days with the remote sideways in controller form.

Hurling punches grows tiresome after about five minutes, so you may find yourself reverting to classic form. The different types of punches are limited to head and chest (inputted through the nunchuk’s analog stick) so there are no degrees of punches using the remote. The multiplayer mode could work in the right party atmosphere, but Punch-Out!! is lacking in new options and ideas. In actuality, their aim was to simply recreate a Super Nintendo game, and that unambitious goal was hit right on the nose. A shame it results in Wii fans taking one on the chin.

E3 fallout

So another E3 gaming conference has come and gone in Los Angeles, and as per usual, the shindig was big on hype and low on facts. Ubisoft Montreal’s Assassin’s Creed 2, now pushing 450 employees and likely a NASA-sized budget, has a Nov. 17 launch date. The studio is also working on the adaptation of James Cameron’s upcoming 3D film Avatar (the studio contributed to the flick as well) and Splinter Cell: Conviction, a dramatic re-jig of the spy franchise.

EA Montreal showed off mercenary buddies in arms sequel Army of Two: The 40th Day and a teaser for their brand new Need for Speed Wii racing game, while A2M displayed an impressive trailer for Spaghetti Western action shooter Wet.

Outside of Montreal, personal highlights included the latest Super Mario Bros. game, this time introducing four-player co-op, the resurrection of long dormant spooky novelist in the woods thriller Alan Wake, and the latest from Grand Theft Auto creator David Jones, a turf war MMO entitled All Points Bulletin.