THE RIGHT
TO SHIT

Some argue that the Bush regime’s domestic spying, endless wars and penchant for torture were the death knell for America. Others might point to unchecked corporate greed. But ask Michael Rainey, and he will tell you that those people don’t know shit. To Rainey, the first apocalyptic trumpet was sounded by a jury of six who listened to testimony in a Galveston County, Texas, courtroom and decided a man should not be found guilty for using the word “shit” to complain about cat shit in his yard.

Rainey was outside playing basketball with his 13-year-old daughter when his neighbour, foul-mouthed Joseph Loflin, came by to talk about Rainey’s cat crapping in his yard. Loflin admits using the word shit thrice in describing the shit; Rainey says he asked Loflin to mind his tongue in his daughter’s presence.

“He could have said he would take care of it,” Loflin says. Instead, Rainey complained to police and Loflin found himself facing a disorderly conduct citation. A day in court and 15 minutes of jury deliberation later, Loflin was found not guilty. Rainey called the verdict “a sad day for morality,” and said “a little piece of America died today.”

by SCOTT SAXON