THIS WEEK: Reggie’s bouncers, baggy grey
sweatpants, tiny eyebrows!

PLUS: Departing students wished well
on their trip back to Ontario!!

F Hey, Rant Line. It's Princess Snow White from the Montreal-based supergroup Girlfriends and thats GRLFRNZ. There's no I in GRLFRNZ because were all BFFs and there's no D because we sucked it for the E we took last night. Anyway, OMGWTF, I am so upset. It is totally not fair for people to make assumptions and to get so retarded about someone they dont even know. Of course, I take my TOP OFF at shows. How else are we going to get people to like our music? And a) everyone does cocaine b) what else could I possibly rap about? My cat? My cat used to live with my parents and now hes dead. I cried so much when he diedwhy would I want to rap and sing about it? They say music should come from the heart, that it should describe all of the things you like and want, so what am I doing wrong? Is it really a crime to just be me? Cant a girlfriend just be a girlfriend? [BLEEP!]

F Hey, honey, next time you get sexually harassed at a rave, how about you do a little less calling the Rant Line, a little more ROUNDHOUSE kicking? [BLEEP!]

M This is for the punk girl. Listen, what punk did was DESTROY DISCO. Disco was great! We were all out dancing having a great time and along came all these freaks with safety pins all over their body. This meant that they couldn't hold regular jobs because they wore black on their eyes and stuff. They couldnt do anything. So then along came new wave. New wave was people that act like punks on the weekend and then during the week, they hold down a job. We should have been just happy with disco. Everybody was dancing and having a good time before all this stupid crap happened. [BLEEP!]

F Hey, this is to that guy who said that playing music too loud on the bus is wrong. To you, I say that French ghetto assholes on the bus are the reason I play my music too loud. The ones that smoke Peter Jacksons and wear fake Gucci and fake Prada, the ones with the really, serious lip liner and tiny EYEBROWS. Yeah, those assholes are the reason my bus ride is ruined every fucking time. So shove it while I play my music really loud. [BLEEP!]

M What I want to rant about is the Concordia bar named Reggie's. It's a chill place, but its got BOUNCERS from the fucking Concordia football team holding the door. They just make you feel like shit. The Concordia bar should be an open environment for all students to come and hang out and have a good time. Except you walk in there and the bouncers look at you and they're, like, Who the fuck are you? Well, who the fuck are they?! They're just a bunch of football players! They're going to be there for six years because they're dumb-asses doing shit all. They're going to walk away from school having nothing. Man, I'm just there to have a good time, they're just about having a shitty time and making their status known. What the fuck is their status? They act like they're the kings of the world. All I've got to say is I like Reggie's but I hate the bouncers. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, what's up? I work at a pretty popular club downtown and this is my favourite time of year. Middle of April is by far the best time of year when you work in a spot downtown. It's not because the weather is changing, and it's not because girls start dressing with fewer and fewer items of clothing. It's because those crosskicking silver spoon TRUST FUND assholes that go to McGill are packing up their sweaty, stinky 6½s and 5½s and dorm rooms and going the fuck home for the summer. We love it. And I'm sure I'm not the only person that is happy to see these guys go. So bon voyage, go back to your mansions in Toronto and try not to get lost on the 401. Peace. [BLEEP!]

F Hi Rant Line, this is a message to all the ART FAGS in Montreal. Stop masturbating with your cameras, stop being as emotionally charged as a menstruating female and stop fucking up people's shit because you have to be honest and loyal. The next time I see one of you scratching your stupid-ass graffiti or wearing your intentionally ironic t-shirt from 1994, I will smash that camera in your face. Get the fuck out of Montreal and go back to Ontario. Peace, motherfuckers. [BLEEP!]

M Listen, I have a question for everybody out there who reads the rants. Why do womenespecially fat ugly girls, but hot girls toowear these BAGGY grey sweatpants? What happened in the fashion industry to make everybody decide they wanted to look slobby? I dont get it. And then there are the really POINTY boots? They are so pointy, they nearly turn into Aladdin shoes at the end? I think this is the worst possible combination ever. Those grey baggy pants with those pointy boots! Youre being stupid, girls. Put on some TIGHT pants or something. All right. [BLEEP!]

F Hey, spandex for pants, I can see where your ass meets your COOTCH. [BLEEP!]

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