Total fucking metal

by JOHNSON CUMMINS

Much like Montreal’s sidewalks in the spring, it can be quite a feat to avoid all the shit—meaning whiny, self-obsessed indie pop—in this town, but for those of a more metallic persuasion, the week ahead is thankfully filled with ballast and blast, with nary a knapsacked nerd in sight. Tonight, April 16, there’s only one place to be for metalheads when the grind/death legends Suffocation set their blast beats on kill mode at le Medley, with the Haunted, White Chapel, Decrepit Birth, Veil of Maya, Psycroptic, Merauder and the Agonist.

Making sure this week’s a major rager for fans of brutality are the newly crowned kings of metal, Lamb of God, at CEPSUM on Friday night with Children of Bodom, As I Lay Dying, Municipal Waste (don’t miss!) and God Forbid. On Monday, you can check out Metal Blade’s Bison B.C., who bring their East Van sludge to Il Motore with the pride of Montreal’s riff slingers, Barn Burner, and the good ol’ punk rock of Omegas. To cap off this perfect week of serious raging metal, none other than death metal forefathers and possible wrestling fans Cannibal Corpse pummel le Medley with the Faceless, Neuraxis and Obscura on Wednesday.

If you’re head isn’t hanging on your shoulders as limp as Michael Jackson’s dick during an episode of Golden Girls after this weeklong headbanging fest, you truly are a poseur.

In less brutal news, you can check out the Blood in the Saddle/Nick Cave cow-punk sounds of Murder by Death with Songs From a Room at Petit Campus on Friday night. Also happening that night is the noisy ADD rock of Toronto’s DD/MM/YYYY at Il Motore with Metz and Special Noise. On a more psychedelic tip (trip?) on Friday, you can check out Buddy McNeil & the Magic Mirrors with the Sound of Sea Animals at le Divan Orange.

If you want to just get downright sloppy on Saturday night, you can head over to Ye Olde Spaghetti Factory, errr, I mean Casa del Popolo, and catch DJs Bonar Law, Youth Contemporary and AIDS Wolf scat vocalist Chloe Scum when they get behind the wheels of steel under the simply delicious heading of Shut the Fuck Up. Expect some sets that include C&C Music Factory performed on dog whistles, Steve Reich, Flipper, Venom, grindcore versions of Bavarian beerhall classics and Yoko Ono’s scream therapy jams—playing simultaneously. Hotcha, that’s a spicy meatball!

On Sunday, don’t miss the expertly executed melodic punk of Prevenge with Horses at l’Escogriffe, or check out the demented lounge vibe of Quintron and Miss Pussycat with the not-to-be-missed Psychedelic Horseshit and Haitian Voodoo Theory at Club Lambi.

On Tuesday, you can check out the hyper pop of Omaha’s Box Elders (nice Pavement nick!) and Ottawa’s the White Wires with Dead Wife, Ultrathin and Dirt Wedding at Friendship Cove. Get there early!

Finally, on Wednesday, the third edition of Unsound lands at Il Motore when the One Man Drone tour lays down its dark ambient, doom, noise and drone (duh) with France’s Tamagawa, Oldine and Shit, Switzerland’s B Tong and local support from the always lethal Aun. Tune in, turn on and doom out.

GIVING YOU THE MASHED POTATOES WITHOUT THE GRAVY
FOR, UH, A WHILE NOW…
JONATHAN.CUMMINS@GMAIL.COM