CHECK
MY JUNK

Sometimes, when a guy is facing eviction, there are few things he can offer in lieu of payment-in-full. Rarely will an angrily proffered cock do the trick. Should one go the cock route, however, best not to do it while there are cameras around. But then, it’s likely Jonathon Edward Nicholson was beyond trying to make amends when he chose to drop trou’ on moving day.

Nicholson, who first became a tenant at a Lawndale, NC, trailer park based on a local preacher’s reference, had fallen out of favour with landlord Harold Dean Jones through repeated failures to pay his rent and his apparent inability to keep the trailer from becoming a filth pit. Jones finally got an order to evict. Nicholson threatened to take the appliances with him when he left, so Jones got a camera to snap shots of the move—just in case. When Nicholson spotted the camera, he “got aggravated,” Jones says. Then he “jerked down his pants” and, junk in hand, yelled, “Take a picture of this, you (disappointingly unreported expletive.)” And so Jones did.

Jones says police were not interested in seeing the photo, but Nicholson was nevertheless arrested for indecent exposure.

by SCOTT SAXON