Pee for
welfare

Rising unemployment, the economy collapsing, billionaires forced to feign concern—in an environment like this, what recent college grad, turfed call centre grunt of defrocked hedge fund manager wouldn’t need to escape reality for a spell with an innocent joint or three-day beachside cokefest? Well, let it be known that Republican West Virginia state legislator Craig Blair is wise to you and currently pushing mandatory drug testing for all public assistance recipients.

Helping to keep alive the stereotype of unemployment insurance, food stamps and welfare being the golden geese that hordes of piss-scented glue-sniffers are eager to feast on, Blair believes that, since employers often require drug-testing, the government ought to do the same. “Nobody’s being forced into these assistance programs,” Blair says, even as more and more Americans find themselves jobless or broke.

Those favouring Craig’s bill say it’s a means to ensure the unemployed stay healthy and able to work, but West Virginia’s ACLU chapter says it’s a ruse through which to “cut costs at the expense of a segment of society that’s least able to defend itself.”

Though Blair’s bill is the most all-encompassing drug test measure being proposed of late, at least eight states are currently considering similar legislation.

by SCOTT SAXON