Grease stain: Before you partake of any of the delicious dishes on this blog, get 911 on the line, because you’ll need an ambulance after you bite into the White Castle Casserole—six sliders, smothered in gravy and topped with melted American cheese. Or a pizza topped with mini pizzas? Or how about a McSurf’n’Turf, a McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish inside a Quarter-Pounder With Cheese? Or a Big Mac With McChicken patties instead of buns? That’s enough calories to heat your house for the winter. Stay hungry at thisiswhyyourefat.com.
Better, faster, bleeper: Want to be a big-time vocoder star like Kanye, Akon or T-Pain? Drink champagne on private jets while the computers do the work? Get started with Daft Punk’s Console, which lets you string together new booty-shaking hits like “Do It Harder Never Better,” “Make It Work It Ever After,” “Better Work Is Never Over” and, of course, “Better Make It Harder.” Beats not included at najle.com/idaft/.
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