Forget your Troubles

How to get bombed before and after
the St. Patrick’s Day Parade

ECLECTIC CELTIC: Squidjigger

by LORRAINE CARPENTER

Canadian? Chances are you’ve got Irish DNA. And that may even apply to francophones with anglo surnames, Asians who can hold their liquor, blue-eyed brown people and freckled black folks. As any barmaid will tell you, it only takes one drop to turn a pint green, and three to five pints to go home with an Irishman. Yes, the Irish really get around, as do their world-renowned pubs.

So, let’s overlook what may or may not be brewing in the old country and dive into the true brew. Every one of Montreal’s Irish watering holes is celebrating St. Patrick’s Day this Sunday, March 22, one week later than usual. The timing is presumably due to last Sunday’s festive police parade (see Photo of the Week, p. 3). But the boys in blue will don a little green this Sunday. Here are a few helpful, welcoming words from the coppers on the official parade Web site: “1. Civil behaviour toward all event participants is expected. 2. Montreal’s public assets and urban furniture belong to the entire population: please treat them with respect. 3. The consumption of alcohol is strictly prohibited on public roads.”

Anyone who’s been to Montreal’s annual parade knows that these three points are no-brainers, particularly the latter. Public drinking? Heavens!

The 185th edition of one of North America’s largest St. Patrick’s Day parades kicks off at noon at the corner of Fort and Ste-Catherine, travelling east, possibly towards a pot of gold. Miss Erin Mackasey of Beaconsfield is this year’s Queen, David John O’Neill is the Grand Marshall. The official parade awards banquet and dinner dance (“honouring our veterans, our true heroes”) takes place on Saturday, March 28, at Buffet Sorrento (1275 Dollard, Lasalle), 6 p.m., with live entertainment care of Sound Check and Salty Dog. Tickets cost $65. (Go to montrealirishparade.com for details.)

Pubs, post-parade

Before and after (especially after) the parade, it’s time to hit the pubs.

Hurley’s opens at 8 a.m. to serve a full Irish breakfast, featuring such exotic delicacies as blood sausage, in the downstairs pub ($15, including spiked coffee), while patrons are serenaded by the Gary Davis Group. Solstice takes over at 2:30 p.m. and plays until 10 p.m. Upstairs, Mick O’Grady plays at 8 a.m., the Peelers at 2:30 p.m. and Squidjigger at 10 p.m.

Next door at Brutopia, open as of noon, Toronto’s Stramash bring their Celtic stylings to the hordes on three floors, as of 3 p.m. Expect Irish stew and sandwiches, chocolate stout and Guinness taps working overtime, and tons of Irish swag being given away at what promises to be a wild party.

Note that the Old Dublin has relocated to 636 Cathcart, corner of University, and will celebrate its first St. Paddy’s in the new digs with live music by local favourites Liam Callahan, Dave Gossage and Pat Gryder, as of noon. Doors open at 11 a.m., debauchery ensues.

At O’Regan’s, get yer Irish breakfast at 9 a.m. or anytime, as it’ll be served all day. Shane Murphy will play to the post-parade crowd as of 5 p.m.

The Irish Embassy offers a pre-parade breakfast from 9 a.m.–noon ($9), and an epic post-parade performance by Squidjigger at 3 p.m. It’s official, you will squid your jig.

Not to be outdone, McKibbin’s throws open its downtown doors at 8 a.m. and offers St. Paddy’s Day breakfast and Irish coffee, as well as live music by Good Time Charlie, until 11 a.m. Salty Dog takes the stage from 3–9 p.m. on the first floor, while francophone Celtic ensemble Kitchen Party play the same time slot upstairs. From 10 p.m. till closing, Yer Man rocks the first floor, and a DJ spins upstairs, as of 9 p.m. At McKibbin’s in the West Island, the $35 Parade Day Package includes breakfast and Irish coffee, with live music by Belfast Andy all day as of 7 a.m., and transportation to and from downtown, leaving at 10 a.m. and returning at 5 p.m.

Wherever (in the city’s west side) you are, Ye Olde Orchard has you covered. The downtown location, which opens for Irish breakfast at 9 a.m., promises Good Time Charlie as of 2 p.m. At the Plateau location, expect Irish breakfast and super Celtic sounds all day. Over in NDG, Ye Olde’s flagship pub, breakfast is served from 8:30 a.m.–noon, and Brendan Walsh plays from 4–9 p.m.

Of course, if you find yourself loathing Celtic music, jigs, clovers and green beer this weekend, bring your humbuggery to the Burgundy Lion, launching its English breakfast on Parade Day. From March 22 on, the pub will serve a proper British brunch every Saturday and Sunday. Go ahead, raise the butcher’s apron and a pint of Black and Tan, and shed a little tear for the old empire.