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Rotten in Denmark
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Hailing from the land of Lego and blue cheese, the Wong Boys are Frank Ziyanak and Stefan Kvamm, a pair of Danish music-scene vets who “talk punk and walk rave,” as they put it, which essentially means they bang out obtuse, ass-kick electro-pop that’s rank, dank, raunchy and stupid in an exceptionally clever manner. Their debut single, “Git ur Fuk On,” offers a refrain that’s likely to be the hottest catchphrase from Denmark since Hamlet groped the headbone of some dead clown. The Mirror reached singer/guitarist Frank Ziyanak by e-mail. Mirror: You both have other music projects that preceded Wong Boys, but now Wong Boys seems to have overtaken them. Was this always the intention or was Wong Boys a simple side project that has gone horribly, horribly wrong/right? Frank Ziyanak: Side projects are for pussies. Money got no stink and all of our girlfriends are high-maintenance. Except the ghetto ones. M: You’ve got a hit on your hands with “Git ur Fuk On.” Even though the first couple of bars make me want to smash elves with a hammer, the rest is quite charming. At risk of sounding naïve, I am compelled to ask, how exactly does a person git their fuk on? FZ: The whole shabazz gets down to having “it.” The “it” factor. I can look at you for two seconds and the verdict will be clear and lucid. Have you got “it?” Are you in, are you out? Hip or hippie? Down or out? Shit, boy, I already got you pegged. M: DJ Illo remixed this song, and you’re signed to the Canadian label Tremendous. Your art is no doubt very precious to you, something close to your hearts, and here you’ve gone and entrusted it to a bunch of Canadians. Is that wise? FZ: Every time we try talking business and big plans, those Frenchies flip it on us, making it all about chopping wood and tagging moose. One time, Jesper of Tremendous actually showed up wearing plaid and suspenders, raving about being hardcore and true to your roots. Besides that, it’s all good. M: For the recent P3 Gold Awards, you performed “Git ur Fuk On” on national television. Was there any controversy surrounding this or were your fellow Danes too busy gitting their fuk on to give a shit? FZ: Danes are too dumb and fat and lazy to get off their asses and get excited about anything. “Laptop-on-belly” and puking your opinion in chat forums like anybody gives a fuck is the thing for Danes. Those who do get “it” are on our dicks. M: This performance took place at the new Danish Radio Music Hall, just a week after the Danish royal family visited it. I’m curious about this monarchy of yours—do they serve any real purpose or are they just there for decoration? FZ: I don’t know but I can tell you what kind of stink is surrounding the queen’s butthole area. We all smelled the royal seats. M: What do Danish kings, queens and princes do with their time all day, anyway? And by the same token, what do the Wong Boys do with their time all day? FZ: All we do is hang out. The prince and Wong, Wong and the king, the princess and Wong, Wong and both princesses, getting “it” on to the early break of dawn, eating king prawns, writing hit songs. Shit, hits be flowing like a moose on citrate of magnesium solution cherry relievers. WITH PLUSHGUN AND KEYS N KRATES |
