Spring it to me

Just one last month of cold weather to go until you can go cop a new pair of shades, dust off your freshest kicks and enjoy the invasion of cleavage that will submerge the city. Yup, those tragically sequestered ta-tas will finally see the light of day again, festively bouncing up and down to the sweet sounds of summer joy. Delicious short skirts will fiercely replace our daily reality of Canada Goose and legwarmers, and those softly moisturized legs that have been waiting all winter to see the world again will at last get a chance to wrap themselves around a lucky fella in a midsummer night’s drunken haze... all to the sounds of T-Pain. I’m writing a romance novel this summer and if anybody knows Fabio’s publicist, please contact me. I need him for the cover.

Anyhow, back to the beats. Tonight, Rated Rookies is launching their spring line, promising more colourful zingers pasted on more colorful t-shirts. Born at Off the Hook two years ago, the young brand has been moving in the fast lane since the release of their first “Leave Jordan and Wu-Tang alone” t-shirt tsunami’d hipster communities throughout North America, followed by a “Danse la poutine” tee that also sold like hot cakes here after the release of the Omnikrom track. The brand can now be seen everywhere from Zoobizarre to Star Académie and the new line is set for take-off tonight, March 12, at the Underdog Boxing Gym (9 Ste-Catherine E.) at 9 p.m., with music courtesy of Figure 8 and DJ Arcade. Hit up Club Soda, right down the block, afterwards and get a good laugh with Jon Lajoie, the man behind some of the funniest shit I’ve ever seen on YouTube. His latest, the “Everyday Normal Crew” video, which includes a classic Twins reference, is straight goods.

SEE THINGS HIS WAY: Raphael Saadiq

Saturday night, you’ll find me at Academy for Keys N Krates, the live remix band that straight lit the fuck outta that same venue about two months ago for their first show in Montreal. If you wanna discover something different and get a real live-energy feeling, go check them out with no second thoughts.

If you’d rather have some dancehall to keep yourself warm, Elephant Man can take care of that for you that same night at the Rialto (5723 Parc) with guests Sir Jay, BLZ, Dirty Taz, Dialekt, DJ Manifest and Kleancut. But save some energy for Tuesday, because you’re taking your girl to Raphael Saadiq at Cabaret Juste Pour Rire, and afterwards, you’re taking her for a little walk and a piece of pie. And after that, you’re making record-breaking love to her all night.

Winter ain’t so bad.

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