MADOFF AT
THE TROUGH

With the silver locks swooping off the back of his pointy head, thin lips tightened in world-weary desperation and drooping, gloom-filled eyes, it’s hard not to feel sorry for Bernie Madoff, the sad-sack thieving prick at the heart of a $50-billion fraud pre-trial investigation. But as amazing as it was that the courts allowed him to slither freely while his case was heard, Madoff and his lawyers have upped the astonishment factor by suggesting that the $7-million penthouse Bernie calls home, as well as another $62-million in assets, shouldn’t be at risk of seizure because they weren’t fraudulently acquired. In fact, they claim, that all belongs to his wife, Ruth.

In papers filed with the District Court of Manhattan, Madoff’s lawyer claims that the apartment, $5-million in bonds and a bank account holding $17-million “are unrelated to the alleged Madoff fraud and only Ruth Madoff has a beneficial interest in these assets.”

Ruth, who reportedly handled the firm’s banking and is accused of withdrawing $15.5-million from corporate coffers just days before Bernie’s breakdown, has yet to be investigated, but lawyers for the trustees in Madoff’s ruin say that they’ll be looking into “every member of the Madoff family,” and will move to seize any insider assets.

by SCOTT SAXON