Net cred

Yo, whatever happened to rap beef? These Internet gangsters have completely lost me at this point. I mean, rap battles used to be simple and they were actually about the… what is it again… um, yeah… you know, the actual music!

Back when KRS-One and MC Shan battled it out during the so-called Bridge Wars, the driving force behind the whole argument was the music and lyrics. Shan dropped that line on “The Bridge” about “how it all got started way back when,” which led people to think that Shan and Marley Marl, the backbone and producer of Juice Crew records, were claiming that hip hop was born in Queens. Then KRS-One and Scott La Rock put out “South Bronx” and “The Bridge Is Over,” letting hip hop come full circle right back to the BX and changing the whole sound and style of things in the process. Bang! But what made this beef so important to the mythology of early hip hop was the fact that a new jack (KRS) would take on the reigning king (Shan) without it ever getting nastier than lines like “getting your homeboys off the crack” or KRS-One’s name being compared to a wack radio station. It was all about the rhymes.

KID YOU NOT: Chromeo on Yo Gabba Gabba!

Fast-forward 20 years and now we’re dealing with 50 Cent yet again and Rick “Officer Ricky” Ross. Apparently, this beef started because 50 Cent snubbed Rick Ross at some random award show. Are you serious?! A snub?! Are we getting so thirsty for conflict that rap wars are getting started over lack of eye contact? It’s been over a month now and I still can’t think of one memorable lyrical jab thrown by either one of these dudes. But I definitely saw the video of 50 taking Ross’s baby mama Tia out on a shopping spree. Or the one of Rick Ross eating the head off of a pastry version of himself… I know, what does that even mean? Well, I’m not sure myself, but all I can tell you is that this is what rap beef has come to, sadly. A bunch of did-you-see-this? videos on the net with tag lines like, “Paper Chassa talks about Dinero Joe’s sista: ‘I’ve seen her do jumpin’ jacks at the yoga studio, no frontin’.” It’s getting harder to keep up with rap these days…

On a totally different and awesome note, you can enjoy some better-spent time on the Web by checking out Chromeo’s appearance on Nick Jr.’s Yo Gabba Gabba!, which is basically a modern version of Sesame Street on mescaline. Their topic of choice for a sing-along: washing your hands. Find it on their MySpace.

This Saturday night at Coda, recent Interscope signee Rye Rye shakes it to the ground and brings it back up, with a helping hand on the decks from Rilly Guilty, for a new edition of one of the best parties in town, Bootyshots. Results for the dance-eoke contest will be announced and special surprise gift packs will be given to the winners. It’s not too late to enter, so shimmy shimmy, capture on tape and hit send.

YOUTUBE THUGGIN’…
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