Booty funk confessional

It’s not every average Sunday evening that I get random phone calls from legendary underground Chicago house producers. So when Charles Chambers, aka DJ Funk, conceptual founder of ghettotech or booty house music, gave me a ring last weekend looking to have a heart-to-heart about the spiritually communicative powers of music and the true nature of good and evil, I quickly ploughed through my considerable surprise and confusion, plugged in my recorder and tapped him for knowledge.

DJ Funk: You get different insights from a musician. You got your musicians, you got your preachers, your shamans and your Buddhas—your different enlightened people from around the world. It always comes to one conclusion. Everybody’s got all these numbers and physics and equations or whatever. But it always equals up to one thing. And my one thing is, before I leave this Earth and I’m a spirit or a ghost or a god or an elf or whatever—you might be a fairy or something. You got all these different things that spook people. And if I’m a person that went in and out of different realms and I can understand what’s goin’ on, all I can do is teach or educate people and give them the feeling that I got. You feel me? Not that I’m super smart, not that I’m a genius or a prophet or anything. I’m just a regular motherfucker that motherfuckin’ do booty house motherfuckin’ music, and spank booty big asses in the other realm. I can just spank that ass and fuck a bitch in a whole other motherfuckin’ universe. You feel me, right? Let’s fuckin’ do it. You don’t even know that. Yo, you gotta hit me on some money on that, dog! We be talkin’ ’bout some cash, some potato crops or something—that shit. Yo, what’s crack-a-latin’? What’s pop-a-rockin’?

EMBRACING THE ONE: DJ Funk and friends

Disco Volante: Yo, I got some Chinese delivery on the way, it’s Sunday night, and I’m talkin’ to DJ Funk, that’s what’s crack-a-latin’.

DJF: Ha ha ha ha! Well, you let ’em all know that I’m enlightened, I feel the good and the evil forces and I know what we can teach. My job, your job is this. If you’ve got any medium, if you got a Channel 2 news or a thing on the Internet that’s gonna span the world, you let them know I know what the fuck is goin’ on and we need our spirit. We need our soul. And I’m all about that. When I go around preachin’ ghetto music, booty house music, Chicago underground house or whatever, I take that Chicago spirit. I take all that spirit that we have and bring it around the world with me. And I give that spirit out to people to make them happy. I make them sad, I make them dark and enlightened. That’s my duality. DJ Funk is not tryin’ to be a superstar. Fuck a superstar! Fuck all that shit. My job is to make people happy and we can all together embrace the one. Feel me?

So start off the new year right, I think everybody should take a lesson from DJ Funk and get flying between them universes, spankin’ them booty big asses and teaching people to be happy and embrace their spirits. Feel it!

CRACK-A-LATIN’ AND POP-A-ROCKIN’…jack.oatmon@gmail.com