THIS WEEK: GWAR, Neil Young,
Pink Floyd, Kansas!

PLUS: Woman claims drum & bass is not dead!!

M Ho-ho-holy fuck, GWAR was amazing! The show ended at about 11 pm, too bad I was supposed to be at work at 8:30 p.m. So I went showed up to work four and a half hours late, drunk, covered in Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton fucking FECAL MATTER, and I didn’t even get in trouble for it, proving once and for all I am the ultimate Bohab. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, this is DWC. I was at the Australian Pink Floyd show last night. What a BLOODY GOOD show. Well worth the money, guys. Go see it next time they’re in town. I’m going back definitely. [BLEEP!]

F About the local music scene: I don’t know about the indie stuff, because I’m not really into that—I’m more into electronic. But I’m really sick of this electronic FUNK that everyone’s been playing. You can’t go anywhere without listening to the same stuff that isn’t even fun to dance to unless you’re drunk. And I know that people say that DRUM & BASS is dead in this city but it’s not. Drum & bass-heads are still here, and there are even people putting on shows! Every month, there’s a drum & bass show at Petit Campus held by KO. They bring in different headliners and it’s a really good time! So I don’t know why everyone is focusing so much on this lame same old electronic when drum and bass is always improving itself. It’s classic music! It’s so much fun to party to and more people should really start checking it out and supporting that scene that we know you love it and that you just think it’s dead. Don’t worry, we’re here. We’re around. Just find us and come party with us! [BLEEP!]

M Yo, Montreal, it’s 7 a.m. on Friday morning and I’m listening to CHOM FM and if I hear Ted Bird berate or mock NEIL YOUNG one more time, I think I am going to go down and bitch-slap him. That’s all I got to say. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, this rant is for the little fucker who forced my locker at the YMCA this afternoon and stole my wallet, my jeans and my keys and my iPod. I just wanted to say PAYBACK is a bitch. I really hope karma gets you back and somebody steals something that you really love and leaves you in fucking SHORTS. That’s what I wish for you. Because it was so embarrassing for me. I just wish you get the same fucking deal. Payback’s a bitch. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I work for a SHOE COMPANY. I absolutely hate the company and I don’t like the fact that my life revolves around how many shoes we sell. It sucks. I have to want people to CONSUME more shoes in order for me to get a bonus and a salary. I can’t deal with it. Beyond that, I fucking hate my boss with a passion. Dude, I cannot wait until I quit and leave you hanging and you’ve got shit all to do, thinking, “Oh my God, he was really good at what he did but I still gave him shit, now how am I going to replace him?” Oh, keep asking yourself that, motherfucker. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M So I’m riding the 24 bus westbound on my way home today around 8 o’clock, Wednesday, and there’s some kid who gets on in the back of the bus and sits there with a Starbucks drink with one CUP with a plastic lid stuck to the top of it and a second cup to warm it up and a third cup to warm it up and a cardboard sleeve to keep it warm. So to this asshole I would like to say: you are the reason there is global warming. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, I just want to know if it’s just me that always hears my cell phone ring in my head when it’s not ringing? [BLEEP!]

F Okay, this is in response to that girl who asked is it really worth it to WET your joints. I think it is because then it’ll burn slower because, you know, it’s wet. It won’t be as dry. [BLEEP!]

M The only time you should WET a joint is if you’ve got a long run in it and it’s burning down one side and fucking up the joint. Other than that, you shouldn’t have to wet it at all. It’s all a matter of being a really good roller and using the right papers. [BLEEP!]

F I’d put HONEY on your joint if I were you. It’s a lot better, it smokes slower. [BLEEP!]

F For the girl looking for a lap dance. I know that Gentlemens Choice at Ste-Catherine and Drummond will definitely let you get one. That’s where I go at least. As long as you buy drinks and you buy lap dances, they will treat you fine. Also, the girls there seem to like girls as well. They really don’t mind giving girls lap dances. So I hope you enjoy. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, this is for the stripper who’s looking for a hot song to dance to. “Carry On My Wayward Son” by KANSAS. I guess it’s perverted that it gets me rock hard, but there you have it. [BLEEP!]

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