by LORRAINE CARPENTER, MATTHEW HAYS and SACHA JACKSON
 A The most excellent Andy Warhol exhibit at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts has two commemorative publications that make for fantastic prezzies for the Warholophile in your life. The exhibition catalogue features 288 pages of over 450 illustrations, and includes new essays about the pop artist by specialists. Another book features the record covers that Warhol designed. Both books come in either French or English editions. For the foodie in your life, you might want to buy the Au Pied de Cochon cookbook (Douglas & McIntyre, $40). The celebrated resto—that famously fetes Poutine—has been written up everywhere, from The New York Times to The Guardian, and here, visionary chef Martin Picard serves up the fascinating tricks of his culinary trade.
 B Gazette columnist-about-town Bill Brownstein has written a celebration of the round-the-clock nature of our burg, titled Montreal 24: Twenty-four Hours in the Life of a City (Véhicule Press, $18.95). Brownstein takes us from restaurant to café to bagel shop, giving us insights into various Montreal institutions, from second-hand bookstore Pages to the Greek resto Philinos. A fitting celebration of Montreal. If you’re buying for a serious bookworm, check out the bookcases at Jamais Assez (5155 St-Laurent) that are both funky and functional. But at this price range, this gift is for that really extra-special, intensely loyal and glamorous friend or loved one: $945–$1,500.
C Montreal designers extraordinaire Furni Creations have fashioned a unique  line of clocks that are downright stylin’. If you’re fatigued by the same old retail stuff you see in what seems like everyone’s home, Furni is creating designs that are distinctive and impressive. Prices for their clocks range from $80–$110. You might also consider picking up Montreal author Rawi Hage’s novel Cockroach (House of Anansi Press, $19.76), one of the most critically acclaimed books of the year. Hage evocatively illustrates one brutal month in the life of a suicidal man who tells a therapist about his long struggle to escape a war-torn country and come to Canada.
 D Putting a deer head on your wall would be decidedly déclassé. Putting some deer antlers around your neck, decidedly cool. Even the most diehard PETA activist would get a kick out of this silver necklace ($205) from Montreal’s Roadkill (roadkillroadkill.com). Despite its sweet but macabre appearance they can be a teensy bit painful: they can hurt when you hug.
 E Edible massage bars can be found at Fuchsia Epicerie Fleur (4050 Coloniale). Yes, now you can massage your partner (or partners, if you’re into that sort of thing) with a product that’s okay to eat too. Made with beeswax and coconut oil and cocoa butter, these bars come in various flavours and fragrances, including lavender, vanilla and rose. And this bargain-basement price cannot be beat: $5 for two bars!
 F If your friend is new to town, perhaps they’d like to go native and actually learn the language. Why not give them the gift of gab—French lessons—en français? There are a gaggle of highly recommended French language schools throughout Montreal, given the multilingual spirit of the city. Not only does learning French have practical applications—you’re less likely to get ripped off when buying something at the mall, for example—you also stand a better chance of bedding French babes if you can actually communicate with them. Some of the top spots to parlez franglais are Université de Montréal (www.fep.umontreal.ca/french), the ILSC (learnfrench.ca) or even the YMCA. Prices vary from school to school.
G Given the current economic crisis, not to mention the environmental one, it may well be time for you to take a more unconventional route in gift-giving.  That’s right: why not take your friend by the hand and get them in touch with good old God? The Almighty might just appreciate such a gesture, given that Christmas is really supposed to be about his son’s sacrifice (or something like that). Simply take your friend on an all-expense-paid visit to our famous shrine to the Holy, Saint Joseph’s Oratory (3800 Queen Mary). If your friend isn’t shaken from their atheistic convictions by the sheer awesomeness of the architecture, then you can always take them to the Oratory shop, where plenty of God-related paraphernalia is available, including postcards and commemorative books. Nothing like getting down on your knees to paying thanks to our Creator!
 H If you happen to have a friend who doesn’t sport a hoodie, you’d best disown them promptly. Or, you could simply buy them one for Christmas, and then you can maintain the friendship. Paul Graham features some awesome hoodie designs, available at General 54 (54 St-Viateur W.). Available in both grey and black. $79. This shop also features a broad range of happening clothing and footwear—impulse shoppers, beware.
 I Inspired by the magical nature of nature, designer Elin Gustafson’s created Into the Woods, a line of hand cast sliver necklaces. The delicate samaras (better known as helicopters and whirligigs, or those things that fly off maple trees at the end of the season) and miniature pinecones are so accurate, they look as though they’ve been simply dipped in silver. Sure to put a smile on any down-to-earth lady’s face, prices range from $60–$210 and are available at both General 54 (54 St-Viateur) and Atelier Woodenapples (5403 Parc).
 J Eco-friendly, sustainable and made with materials sourced from Quebec, Salendro design’s JivJiv bird hooks are the prefect gift for anyone prone to forgetting where they left their keys/hat/coat/scarf. Made of hand-brushed raw aluminium and packaged in reclaimed cardboard boxes, the hooks are only sold in pairs, and will set you back $29.95 at salendro.com at Atelier Woodenapples (5403 Parc).
 K For those who want to wear their philosophical favourites on their sleeve, Kant, Kierkegaard and a bevy of other thinkers, composers, poets and mythical characters (we’re talking Greek, not elusive) are emblazoned on t-shirts for either him or her ($26) from Tres Normale. It’s not all serious and Fear and Trembling, however, many of the shirts show a healthy amount of tongue-in-cheek (Descartes is labelled “egocentric”). Shirts and posters depicting infamous areas of the city, such as Berri-UQÀM metro and Mile-End’s beloved St-Viateur are also available at Bure & Linon (1129 Belanger) and online at tresnormale.com.
 L She may have been born in Minnesota but it was in Montreal that Lili St-Cyr made her name as burlesque queen. Raised by her grandparents to become a showbiz star, St-Cyr came to Montreal in the 1940s and by the time she was publicly condemned by the Catholic Church for whisking men into a sexual frenzy—a true sign of a woman on top of her game—she was known as the most famous woman in the city. Striptease and the art of burlesque has made a come back, but you can read about a pioneer of the art and the heyday of her profession in her autobiography, Ma Vie De Stripteaseuse ($29.95) or in Kelly DiNardo’s more recent exploration, Gilded Lili: Lili St-Cyr and the Striptease Mystique ($20.75) both at amazon.ca.
M Holidays can be messy, what with the rum and eggnog, the homemade wine. You might not want to use your best china for all your guests (your three-year-old nephew, Uncle Tippy), so sturdy melamine plates from Jamais Assez  (5155 St-Laurent) should save you from any unwanted smashes. Made in Quebec since 1954, the dishes have a nostalgic and vintage feel, come in a buttery yellow, simple white or robin’s egg blue and range in price from $3.65–$7 per piece. And when the warmer months finally roll around, they’ll be perfect for picnics. If there’s a cook on your list, check out Totem’s magnetic utensil holder ($32) also at Jamais Assez. This brilliant invention sticks to your stovetop like a magnet on a fridge and holds your messy wooden spoon directly over your steaming pot of chili.
N Not made in China is the cleverly named line of porcelain pieces by Hugo Didier. Though “not made in china” appears in recognizable font on most of the  pieces, not all of them include the explicit message. Didier’s petite six-ounce and moyen eight-ounce coffee cups ($16 and $18, respectively) are simple and understated and available at Galerie Zone Orange (410 St-Pierre) and this weekend’s Souk @ SAT. See hugodidier.com for details. For a pure piece of cinematic Canadiana, the NFB has just released a slew of new and old films on DVD, including Montrealer Yung Chang’s Up the Yangtze ($24.95) and Glen Gould: On and Off the Record ($17.95). nfb.ca/store.
 O Oöm’s fair trade and organic cotton line of clothing, everything from polo shirts ($55) to dresses ($70), makes sure your gift is both ethical and stylish. Available at a range of stores and at their online boutique—see oom.ca for details. For a less ethical but definitely ageless gift check out ojingogo by Matt Forsythe, a graphic novel that follows the adventures of a young girl, Voguchi and her pet squid, for $14.95 at Drawn & Quarterly (211 Bernard W.).
 P Pillowcases need not be boring. General 54 (54 St-Viateur) has just created a line of simple silk-screened pillowcases ($22) to add a little pizzazz to a bedroom. Printed on both organic or Egyptian 350 thread-count cotton, they come in five different designs, from a crow to a contortionist on roller skates, and a variety of colours such as grey, white, aqua and pale green. Your favourite beer drinker should get a kick out of Pffit, Erratum’s sleek bottle opener/coaster. Perfect for parties. Erratum.ca for details.
 Q Montreal might be known for its beer but there’s also a fair amount of Quebec wines worth taking to family and friends outside of the provinces border. The SAQ has a great selection (depending on locations) of everything from a white Royarnois from the Montmorency region ($12. 10) to the particular taste of Bleu de Québec’s honey wine with blueberry maple syrup ($11.85 for 375 ml). Pair that with a couple of Quebec cheeses like a creamy blue Le Ciel de Charlevoix from La Maison D’Affinage (prices vary) or your run-of-the-mill grocery store cheese curds and you’ve got the perfect gift for an out-of-town foodie.
 R Support your local scene—particularly the bands and labels that invest in vinyl—by buying records at Phonopolis (5403A Parc), opened last year by Nathan Gage of transplanted Victoria, B.C. band Shapes and Sizes. Not only does the little store stock records by your favourite neighbourhood indie rockers (many on Montreal labels like Secret City and Pome), but they let locals with new albums design their own promotional window displays, and occasionally organize in-store performances for them in the store’s basement. For even more Montreal records, look no further than downtown’s top music store, Cheap Thrills (2044 Metcalfe).
 S Tis the season for layering. And between the “come out and play” philosophy of Jessie May’s casual/luxury knitwear to the chic simplicity of the Majolie’s premium-quality merino wool, viscose and cotton sweaters, it’s clear that Montreal is stacked when it comes to locally designed options. Jessie May’s last fall collection includes a range of sweater gems, from the thick and oversized to the thin and form-fitting, while Majolie’s Lysanne Latulippe specializes in the latter, ensuring that the layer closest to your heart is something special indeed. Shop online, or visit the Web sites for boutique locations: jessiemay.com, majolie.ca.
 TThe Musée d’art contemporain hosted the inaugural Quebec Triennial this summer, titled Nothing Is Lost, Nothing Is Created, Everything Is Transformed. The exhibition was the culmination of three years of work by 38 artists, and with 135 pieces, it was both one of the most extensive collections of Québécois contemporary art, and one of the museum’s largest shows ever. For those who missed it or wish to revisit some of the work, the 212-page catalogue is available for $39.95 at the MAC’s bookstore (macm.org) and café, Olivieri (185 Ste-Catherine W.)
 U At the Unicorn womenswear boutique (5135 St-Laurent), necklaces and earrings from Uranium (uranium.ws) never fail to turn heads. For a decade, Uranium has been creating premium “street fashion,” with an emphasis on unique, handmade jewellery. With five distinct but unified collections every season—Lucie, Luv Machine, Stella, Hayden and Uranium’s signature collection—there are plenty of reasonably priced, “positively energized” jewels to peruse.
V Not to be confused with a happy ending, Spa Orange’s (1240 Drummond)  Vihtu massage is a hot Finnish treatment that will beat your gift certificate recipient into submission. In a sauna, vihtu masseurs whisk bodies with bunches of birch, oak and eucalyptus twigs to aid circulation, breathing and detoxification, as well as bolster the immune system. Go to Spa Orange’s Web site (spaorange.ca) for details about their gift cards and packages.
 W Pretty up bare walls with wall hangings like posters by local artists Jesse Purcell, Greg Ryan and the Seripop gang, collected at one of Mile-End’s lovely fripperies, Local 23 (23 Bernard W.) Whether it’s artful political slogans, rock concert ephemera or anthropomorphic surreality you seek, you’ll find it among these three artists’ bold, busy silkscreens and angular art brut illustrations, for $10–$35.
 X Shunga Erotic Art makes products for “intimate moments,” ie. x-rated paraphernalia, from massage gels and oils to “oral pleasure” balms to aphrodisiac powders to plain old lube. But there’s nothing plain about the sleek and seductive packaging for these products, inspired by Japanese erotic art from the 16th, 17th and 18th centuries. Shunga (translation: “image of spring”) is available at a number of sex shops around town—go to the company’s Web site (shunga.com) to locate the one nearest you.
 YWhat better mid-winter gift than a membership to Moksha Yoga, where relaxation rituals and energizing exercise take place in a room heated to roughly 40 C (though there are also classes in conventionally heated rooms, for those not fond of extremes). Hatha postures, deep stretching and detoxification are easier and more refreshing in the sweaty confines of Moksha’s two studios, located on the Main (3863 St-Laurent) and in NDG (4260 Girouard.) Check the Web sites for rates and schedules: mokshayogamontreal.com, mokshayogandg.com.
 Z There’s animal print all over Vanessa Moore’s t-shirts, long-sleeved tops and tanks, and her zebra designs are especially wild, be they natural black and white or black and emerald green. Scarlett (254 Mont-Royal E.) specializes in sassy fashions created by Montrealers such as Moore, for punks, rockabillies, emos, indie rockers, goths and glammers alike. They also carry like-minded lines from elsewhere, such as the U.K.’s Criminal Damage, who make zebra jeans in a range of cool colours.
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