Planet smasher

The Day the Earth Stood Still remake tramps
all over the original’s beautiful simplicity

KEANU BARADA NIKTO: Reeves

by MARK SLUTSKY

The original 1951 The Day the Earth Stood Still, directed by Robert Wise, might seem a little slow by today’s standards, but the relaxed pace is one of its strengths. It’s a simple story, well told, and its essential humanism is never eclipsed by the fact that it contains some of sci-fi’s most iconic imagery.

So you probably knew they were going to mess it up when they remade it with Keanu Reeves. And yes, the new The Day the Earth Stood Still doesn’t disappoint, in the sense that it does disappoint. The basic plot outline is the same: an alien ship descends to earth and out steps Klaatu (Keanu), emissary from a galactic civilization, and his protector robot Gort. Before he can get a word out, though, he’s shot by a trigger-happy soldier and then whisked away by the government. Eventually, he reveals the scary purpose for his visit.

The original had Klaatu coming to warn humanity that if they kept messing around with bombs and rockets, they’d threaten the safety of more peaceful civilizations, who would have no choice but to eliminate the naughty species—and thus the fact that dude gets clipped the moment he steps out of his spaceship had some tragic meaning.

The remake has, unsurprisingly, been updated to a vague, greener message, and the aliens this time are a little less forgiving; they’re going to get rid of the humans no matter what (unless scientist Jennifer Connelly and her cute son can convince them otherwise).

Near the end of this ill-conceived little fiasco, Connelly, the kid and Keanu (who, it should be noted, is the least of this movie’s problems) huddle under what seems to be the exact same Central Park bridge where Cloverfield’s last stand took place, and you can’t help but think what a better vision of man’s possible demise that was, told from the point of view of clueless civilians and bereft of smug moralizing. And yet, the original Day the Earth Stood Still managed to pull off the trick of presenting a poignant call to anti-violence, thanks to its sublime simplicity and deliberately ambiguous ending. Perhaps that wouldn’t work today, but it would go down easier than this silly, pointless remake.

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL
OPENS THIS FRIDAY, DEC. 12