Nudists vs. swingers!

If you were a naked terrorist, where would you stash your Molotovs? That’s one of the questions French police will have to ask themselves as they begin investigating a series of fire-bombings thought to be carried out by rogue elements among the nudists against their raunchier, orgy-minded counterparts.

For years, Cap d’Agde in the south of France has earned its reputation as a welcoming, just-a-penis, nothing-to-see-here nudist camp. Enter, quite literally, the “boîte échangiste:” partner-swappers, who arrived to Cap d’Agde to set up swingers’ clubs with the hopes some nudists might want a bit of unnatural with their naturism. Tensions were already as thick as some of the échangiste dildos, but over the past few months, four swingers’ clubs have been burned to the ground and police think the culprit might be a nudist.

While some of the nudists insist they respect the swingers’ right to behave as they choose—like when one swinger whipped his wife on a balcony for the enjoyment of onlookers in the courtyard below—others suggest the fires could be the work of “mullahs of chaste nudity,” who already are known for driving off bathing-suited visitors with verbal haranguings.

by SCOTT SAXON