Upsides of the downturn

By JACK OATMON

I recently listened to a BBC radio mini-doc about what happened in the entertainment industry during the Great Depression. The gist of it was that, though some areas inevitably slumped, for the most part, hitting the town for some live music or a film was one of the few indulgent things people kept right on doing in 1929. In fact, the program suggested that some people might even go out more often, as a movie or live band is a cheap way to forget about one’s economic sorrows for a few hours. Whether that’s true or not of the current crash remains to be seen, but one added bonus of economic slowdown we’re definitely already experiencing is the explosion of new, ever more morbid Halloween costume ideas.

I CAN’T LOOK: Jordan Dare

This season, look out for hordes of shambling, moaning zombie bank treasurers, resurrected from beyond the grave by liquidity injections from mad market doctors, and ready to feast upon the flesh—and tax dollars—of the living. Two-headed monster Jim Flaherty will be a big hit this year, one head incessantly claiming the strong fundamentals of the economy will pull us through with a surplus, while the other tells us expenditures have led to a fourth-quarter deficit. His evil alien master, Harpoid the Destroyer, will be blasting Canadians with his mind-sucking memory-erase rays and subduing them, making them totally oblivious to his NeoCon invasion force. The mortifying, chill-inducing costume creepiness goes on and on, from Sarah Palinstein to Leprechaun Dion and beyond.

Of course, once you’re all dressed up and ready to scare the shit out of people with your tentacles of doom or art-cutting chainsaw or whatever, you gotta get out and find the place to party and forget about that line of credit. Of course, the classic Rocky Horror Picture Show will be going down Thursday, Friday and Saturday, at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m., at the Rialto. Meanwhile, Friday night’s a tough call. You’ve got Academy, where a huge, eclectic line-up of fantastic local breaks, house and hard techno DJs, including Mighty Kat, Romeo Kardec, Kiffah and too many others to mention here, will be doing battle sets and the like in two different rooms. Way down the Main is Jordan Dare’s Voyeur at the SAT, a Halloween sure shot, which boasts classic techno, acid house and new electro by Mike Mind, Nu Ravers and le Matos. That’s also tended to be a prime spot to see outrageous costumes in the past. If you plan to go the rock route Friday night, get your chipper, epic, emotive indie pop from locals Code Pie at Lambi along with Expo 67, Mixylodian and the Hospital Bombers.

So if my theory and that radio doc are to be trusted, the clubs should be alive/undead with boogying bureaucratic bogeymen and poltergeist politicos. And with all the banks and firms running aground elsewhere, who knows, maybe by the end of the week, Canada’s aristocracy will be turning in their suits at Value Village too, making for cheap costume materials!

I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS, LEVERAGED WITH A
COLLATERALIZED DEBT OBLIGATION!jack.oatmon@gmail.com