2+2= Fight

When planning your first foursome, don’t believe all that back-page-of-the-weekly crap about trust. Just grab your partner, get liquored up, find two like-minded mutants and start filling some holes. What could go wrong? Well, trouble popped up like a liquor-guided penis when two Cottage Grove, Wisconsin, couples met in a bar and decided to take the coy out of coitus.

All four deviants concur that Daniel Dinga and his lady met Cesar Selinas and his lady at a local bar, went back to Dinga’s house, continued to get their drink on and then thought it would be swell if they all fucked. They all admit the sweet ’n’ sweaty was cut short when the nude males began shoving one another. No one will say what lead to the altercation, maybe their balls touched, but the party was over. From that point, the stories conflict. There was definitely a steak knife involved, and it definitely led to Selinas ending up in the hospital for what reports describe as “a gash to his face.”

Because Dinga’s story changed with each telling, and because, when police talked to him, he was wearing bloody shorts and officers could “detect…the odour associated with someone sobering up after a long night of drinking,” he’s the one facing charges.

by SCOTT SAXON