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Alongside legislating the American womb and condemning people who don’t hate gays, abstinence is a topic the Family Research Council holds dear. Now, a new awareness campaign by their arch nemesis, Planned Parenthood, has sent FRC’s president Tony Perkins into a tizzy for having the utter impudence to suggest it’s okay for women to masturbate. The source of the FRC’s ire is a Web site, www.takecaredownthere.org, featuring several vids that Perkins describes as “so revolting, members of my staff were visibly shaken.” One of the scenarios setting Perkins’s staff a-quiver involves a young woman telling her friends she plans to spend her evening “strumming the banjo.”
One would think masturbation might be seen as a happy medium in the abstinence melee, but the notion is too much for Perkins’s delicate sensibilities—which are fully exposed when Perkins complains about the “Down There Song.” Featuring euphemisms like Sergeant Stiffy and Panty Hamster, Perkins says the song “reaches levels of vulgarity that would give even crude networks like MTV pause.” The insult most egregious to Perkins, however, is the fact that Planned Parenthood’s “pornographic Web” receives federal funding. Perkins advocates the like-minded to phone President Bush, the only jack-off the FRC seems to find acceptable, and demand change.
by SCOTT SAXON |
