Nerds on parade

When was the last time you had your mind blown? Not just bullshit summer-blockbuster-eye-opening-edge-of-your-seat-wowed (btw, The Dark Knight? Totally overrated). I’m talking about REALLY blown. Like when there are so many “What the Effs” spilling out of you that you just end up making a permanent “Wha?” shape with your mouth. Well, that happened to me last weekend.

On Saturday and Sunday, I went to a nerd convention. More precisely, I attended Otakuthon, Montreal’s yearly celebration of all things Asian and animated. After two years filling its former digs at Concordia, this year, the celebration of Asian cartoon culture rammed Palais des Congrès with over 2,500 full-on geeks. Being a former nerd, I was curious to see what it was all about, but half expected it to be a bunch of booths of people selling creepy anime DVDs with stickers that said “Now With 20 Per Cent More Tentacle Rape!” while kids in ninja pyjamas milled about trying to out-nerd each other with obscure cartoon trivia. How wrong I was. Sure there was that, but there was other stuff too. Here’s a visual log of what went down.

Obviously the costumes were out of control. Sure, there were plenty of pro get-ups ordered from one of the plethora of online Cosplay sites, but the homemade jobs lovingly crafted from papier maché were the best. These kids put so much work into their outfits, it made me ashamed that I went as Toilet Paper Mummy last Halloween.

On the first night, there was a nerd rave from 10:30 p.m. to 2 a.m. The music was labelled as “J-Pop, J-Rock and anime related anthems;” to me, it sounded like Rotterdam hardcore made by pink robot bunnies hopped up on crystal meth and Lick-‘Em-Stiks. Some guys reeeeally got into it.

At one point, the DJ announced he was about to play an exclusive new track from the Dance Dance Revolution game. The crowd went mental and to celebrate, they did a limbo using a fellow nerd as a limbo stick. Good times.

J-Pop Karaoke was absolutely insane. Watching an awkward teenage Quebecer step up to the mic and unabashedly belt out a videogame theme song in perfect Japanese like Christina Aguilera was the most life-affirming thing since watching a fawn being born on the Nature Channel.

During karaoke, I heard the distinct sound of teenage girls going hysterical outside. You can’t see it clearly in this picture, but there are two teenage boys totally making out on the ground as a crowd of onlookers (mostly 14-year-old girls) chanted “Yao-i! Yao-i!” Which is basically Japanese for “boy on boy action.” Apparently, they did it for candy and it’s totally, totally normal.

Unless you’re a totally jaded asshole, you have to appreciate how honest all these kids are about what they’re into. It’s not because some bullshit hipster blog told them it’s cool, and sure, maybe it’s a little weird how many hours a grown man spent shaping Styrofoam into a perfect Optimus Prime costume. But who gives a fuck? They certainly don’t.

Riff-Raff@sympatico.ca