Building a better dildo

Technology, art and orgasms collide at
the Sex Machine Competition/Exhibition

MADE IN MONTREAL: HugHer

by CHRIS BARRY

For all those jaded “seen it all, done it all” folks out there, the gang over at Cirque de Boudoir have come up with a concept the likes of which you’ve probably never witnessed before: a sex machine competition. Yes, as a precursor to the Cirque’s second annual Robots & Dolls & Monsters (monsters being new this year) ball on Saturday, July 26, amateur builders have been invited to showcase their homemade fucking machines to the public, where they’ll be displayed, hopefully tried out, maybe sniffed and later rated by a series of judges. Now that’s entertainment, folks!

The Mirror got the lowdown on this most awesome of events from organizer Davidé, who along with his partner Bunnyguts make up the team behind Cirque de Boudoir.

Mirror: The sex machine competition is a great idea, where did it come from?

Davidé: Robots & Dolls is an event that explores sexuality and technology, so we thought it might be great to have actual sex machines as part of it. And then we got the idea of having amateurs come in with their own sex machine designs as a way of getting people involved. I mean, you can make your own if you just have a little bit of creativity, time and focus.

M: And engineering skills, I imagine.

D: Well, some engineering skills, but you can also just be handy with stuff. I mean, you don’t need a degree in engineering to build a sex machine. Sex machines are still a fairly new thing. People surfing the Internet will find pornography featuring them, but there hasn’t been anything that displays them, encourages participation in building them, showcases them, and really, you know, treats them as something artistic.

M: So what’s going to happen at the event?

D: It’s both an exhibition of sex machines and an art exhibition. We’ve got six entries from local amateurs who are building sex machines, competing for first, second and third prize. But the contest is mainly a motivating factor, to get people building these machines, to encourage people to be creative. All the entries are from people who’ve built their sex machines from scratch. For example, I’ll be displaying one, although it won’t be part of the contest. It’s an old exercise rowing machine, and I’ve attached a vibrator to it so you can pull yourself into it. We’ve also got commercial machines on display as well, like the HugHer, which happens to be locally built, and the Caesar machine, which is one of the best selling fuck machines on the market. You change the pieces so it’s either a dildo or a Fleshlight-type device for men. And of course, it can be used to penetrate men too.

M: Ah yes, nothing like a good ass-fucking from a machine while watching Mary Hartman reruns on TV, huh?

D: Yeah well, now they’re working on a model that includes virtual reality glasses where you play a scene from a porno movie and it gives you the perception you’re having sex with the person in the film.

M: While the machine tugs on your joint, right?

D: Right.

Testing the goods

M: So are audience members gonna start riding these things?

D: We’re trying to find a volunteer to test out every machine. Several people have demonstrated substantial interest in being the official testers of the machines.

M: So if I came by with my Bubby and she decided she wanted to try one out, could she?

D: If people want to try them out, we’re going to let them. So long as they’re comfortable. But the point isn’t how many people we can get to fuck the machines, it’s more about appreciating them; the people-getting-fucked thing is just the potential of where it could go.

M: Do these things differ much?

D: Sure, there’s quite a bit of variety. For example, one of the machines on display uses suspension, so, like, someone will be hanging, and the machine will be coming upwards at them. There’s another, simpler machine on display that’s essentially a power saw where the saw bits have been exchanged with a dildo. There’s another one that I haven’t seen yet that’s called the Last Unicorn, there’s my rowing machine, and another more medieval looking one made from wood—it’s human powered, working with older technology. Did you know there were steam-powered sex machines back in the early 1900s? So it can be low tech as well, it doesn’t have to be high tech to be a good sex machine.

Sex Machine Competition/
Exhibition at 1410 Wolfe #300 on
Thursday, July 24, 7 p.m., $5.
Robots & Dolls & Monsters ball
at the Just For Laughs Studio
(2109 St-Laurent) on Saturday,
July 26, $20 advance, $25 door.
For more info, go to
cirquedeboudoir.com