Protection through confidence

Potential attackers are turned off by strong
women, says self-defence instructor

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Ean Murphy

Age: 38

Occupation: Self-defence instructor with Prepare Canada

Bio: Standing 5’9” and weighing in at a modest 190 pounds, this Verdun powerhouse emigrated here from Brooklyn last summer because “Montreal is a beautiful city, having the cultural benefits of NYC without all the drawbacks.” Prior to being “blown away” by a television report on IMPACT self-defence and studying to become an instructor herself, Ean had flirted with Aikido but found it, “like most martial arts, to be kind of macho. I’m a big, loud, strong woman who’s lived most of my life in high crime districts, and Aikido, beautiful as it is, didn’t make me feel safer in my daily life.” Finally motivated to develop her self-defence skills after two close friends narrowly escaped getting their heads kicked in for no good reason at a New York bar, Ean now offers Montrealers a 20-hour course in IMPACT self-defense through Prepare Canada (www.preparecanada.ca, 866-472-9121).

Has she ever been attacked? “Of course, I’m a woman. I’ve been raped, robbed, lots of people have. But Prepare isn’t just about beating up criminals; it’s about learning to protect yourself so these situations never happen. Hitting people is the most dramatic element of the course, but it’s definitely not the most important. When I first discovered Prepare, I was in an abusive relationship and didn’t even realize it. The course gave me the tools to recognize I was in a bad relationship along with the confidence to get out of it and never get into another one again.”

How one can be physically abused without realizing it? “Because, viewing myself as a feminist, I was always thinking, like, ‘This couldn’t possibly be happening to me.’”

Has she been attacked since discovering IMPACT self-defence? No. “And I’m 100 per cent certain it’s because I now see problems in advance and avoid them completely. And if I can’t avoid them, with only a few words I can communicate that I’m not a target. There’s an actual interview process going on with attackers. They want to know if you’re someone who’ll protect themselves in terms of boundaries, if you’ll stand up to them. Very often, assaults begin with very small boundary violations and escalate over time. Nobody just starts to date a psycho killer, nobody wants to date someone who hurts them, it’s just that we get used to it. But being someone who looks confident in their body language, who will make eye contact and say, ‘You’re too close, please step away from me,’ is immediately stating you have boundaries that must be respected. It doesn’t mean an attack won’t happen, but just by taking my class, you’re far less likely to be attacked. It’s not so much what you say in these situations, it’s how you say it, it’s your body language. Of course, knowing you can back yourself up physically if need be does a lot for your self-confidence, which also shows in your body language.”

Something Prepare Canada teaches that every kid should know: How to protect oneself from being bullied, ideally without even having to fight. “We’ve trained hundreds of kids.”

Last book read: The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker.

Musical preferences: Glenn Gould, Dengue Fever, the Giraffes.

Words of wisdom: “Resistance is the secret of joy.”

Comments: dimwit@hdot.net