Baby on board

While some choose to focus on the fact that a woman allowed her one-year-old child to take the wheel of her car, her five- and eight-year-old children must be wondering just how deeply they must have disappointed their mother for her to have more confidence in a mere infant than either of them. Sure, she was drunk, but that’s not going to be any warm glow in the putrid corridors of childhood insecurity.

“Let’s be honest,” said Goshen Township, Ohio, police spokeswoman Mandy Storer. “A one-year-old child doesn’t have the skill to drive a car. We all know that.”

Clearly not. Marya Green, mother of three with as many DUI charges, knew she was too drunk to drive herself and her children home, yet when the patrol officer pulled Green over for suspicious driving, he found a one-year-old on steering duties.

“Good time for him,” Green explained. As Green stumbled through her sobriety test, her daughter asked the officer, “Is my mom going to jail?” Yes. Her licence suspended just days earlier, Green was charged with driving under suspension, DUI, non-compliance and endangering children. The children were released to their father while Green remains jailed in lieu of a $7,500 bond.

by Scott Saxon