Easing your
grief holistically

>>Alternatives to orthodox psychology
exist for the bereaved, says counsellor

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Lesley Pavitt

Age: 48

Occupation: Grief/Therapeutic counsellor

Bio: This sympathetic West Island gal had been working in a successful printing-related business alongside her husband but ultimately “found myself dissatisfied with what I was doing. Sure, I was good at it, but it didn’t seem to be making a difference in the world, nor was it particularly satisfying in a deep or spiritual way.” So, seeking an occupation that would satisfy her “natural talents of active listening, empathy and problem solving,” in early 2005 she started her “professional transition in earnest, getting the education I needed” and one year later found herself with a brand new career as a grief counsellor, which has since evolved into the Montreal Holistic Centre (www.montrealholistic.com), where Lesley and her crew offer everything from therapeutic counselling to reflexology, massotherapy and guided meditation sessions.

Her relevant academic credentials: “A distance professional therapeutic counselling course, some local courses in things with a psychological impact like psycho-oncology, and I undertook a mentorship program with a local psychologist.”

Does she ever come across licensed psychologists who give her grief for trampling on their professional turf? “Not so far, at least.”

What the hey is psycho-oncology? “It addresses the special issues cancer patients might face, the way a serious illness like that can affect theirs and their families’ lives, the decisions they might have to take regarding treatments, just the impact it has on them. It’s a huge issue for someone to deal with. And sometimes the people around them aren’t open to talking about it, they’re not comfortable with it, and they can’t provide them with the feedback they need.”

Does she make sure to pass around her grief-counselling card to the families of psycho-oncology clients in order to secure future business? “Oh God no!”

What people yack about in grief counselling: “We generally talk about their relationship with the deceased, what were they like, what was it like to experience the death of this person, before, during and after the death, the shock afterwards, are they angry, not angry, what was left unsaid, what they would like to have said—I mean, the gamut is huge. Because generally, after a period of time, people around you don’t want to keep hearing about your loss, yet the amount of time it takes to deal with the death of a loved one is different for everybody. It can take years.”

How Lesley’s grief counselling might make the rape-murder of your daughter not seem so bad after all: “In addition to active listening, depending on the person and their situation, I’ll introduce different things like guided imagery or mindful meditation. A lot depends on what the individual is open to, if they’re into metaphysical stuff, then we’ll look into that, if it’s aromatherapy or sound therapy, then perhaps we will look into those therapies as well.”

Her rate: $60 an hour and she makes housecalls.

Musical preferences: Roger Hodgson, Mozart.

Last book read: A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle.

Words of wisdom: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Comments: dimwit@hdot.net