THIS WEEK: Wu-Tang Clan panned, praised, blamed for Habs riot!

PLUS: A woman’s large firm breasts say thank you!!

F Maybe to you it was a joke, but to those who look good and actually get laid with it, the MOUSTACHE is here to stay. [BLEEP!]

M Yo, what the fuck? This wasn’t a Wu-Tang show, it was MEMBERS of the Wu-Tang show. Only four made it across the border. Talking about Masta Killa, GZA, U-God and Raekwon. Where the fuck was Ghostface? Where the fuck was Meth? Where the fuck was Inspectah Deck? And where the fuck was the mastermind, yo, where the fuck was RZA? That’s like having the whole crew of the Enterprise and no CAPTAIN KIRK. Yo, Wu-Tang talk about being innovators and pioneers—it’s all good—but y’all should bring it to the next damn level. If motherfuckers can’t cross the border, y’all got to set shit the fuck up and have niggas on the screen, fucking doing like a show from their basement or some shit. Have three different screens of niggas that are in different places in the fucking world and y’all doing the same show. I would respect that. Instead we got four MCs throwing it down but not enough hype for my taste. Yo, Metropolis was packed to the ass, yo. People were waiting, dying for Wu, the crowd was hype. But the boys on stage were not. And what the fuck was up with that fucking crew of GROUPIES IN THE BACK? Bitches weren’t even dancing. If you’re going to have bitches standing in the background, bitches should be dancing! Goddamn, yo! I’m sick and tired of lackluster hip hop shows coming to Montreal, yo. For real. I’m looking forward to the Roots and Erykah Badu because them two deliver on the real. And I’m out. [BLEEP!]

M I just got back from the Wu-Tang Clan show. You know, when everyone said RZA wasn’t going to be there, I was, like, okay, whatever, as long as Ghostface was there. And then when everyone was, like, Method Man’s not going to be there, I was, like, whatever, I don’t care, as long as Ghostface is there. Well guess what? Ghostface wasn’t there. They shouldn’t even have advertised it as a Wu-Tang Clan show. They should have advertised it as Raekwon, GZA, and two other guys. [BLEEP!]

M Yo, I just left the Wu-Tang Clan concert and, man, it was off the fucking hook. Yo, man, crazy, crazy props to these people. They’re really fucking good. Especially Raekwon with his little monologue—goes off, be like, “Yo, everything we do, it’s because we selling crack.” And, then he’s, like, “If y’all got any guns in this house, use them.” And then U-God comes in and cuts him off goes, “Wisely.” That was fuckin’ hilarious. Also, I have no idea what just happened there, but when the DJ played all these classic tracks—some Tupac, some Tribe Called Quest. And all of a sudden, he switched to 50 Cent, the crowd goes BOOOOO and then he just cuts it off. And then he’s, like, “Why you all ain’t got no love for 50 Cent?” and the whole crowd goes, “Fuck 50 Cent!” So I don’t know if there’s any beef there but I’d love to know the low-down on this, man. It’s some crazy, crazy shit but I fully agree: Fuck 50 Cent. [BLEEP!]

M Just to clear air about the MONTREAL RIOT after the hockey game. I was there. This riot had nothing to do with any hockey fans, but had everything to do with a bunch of hip hoppers who came out of the Wu-Tang Clan concert. They initiated the riot just so they could break into the sports store there and steal the new basketball SNEAKERS. [BLEEP!]

M Hello. I’m a 48-year old Montrealer and I just bought the somewhat new Queen DVD, Queen Rock Montreal, because it was made in Montreal, and it just brought so many MEMORIES of all the great shows that went down at the old Forum. All the great rock bands played there and Queen, boy, those guys were really good musicians! Now I hear Paul Rodgers is replacing Freddie Mercury as the lead singer in Queen—that’s like the Rolling Stones without Mick Jagger. I mean, Paul Rodgers is a great singer, he sang great in Free and Bad Company, but, I mean, Queen is dead because Freddie Mercury’s dead. But that show in Montreal, boy, that was fucking great. Bye. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I’m a musician in Montreal and I’m looking to jam with other musicians to, you know, whatever and blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah. [BLEEP!]

F I just saw two guys eating BANANAS the regular way together on the street. It was filthy hot. [BLEEP!]

M This is for all those emo guys—why don’t you try dating a girl who’s actually SKINNIER than you are? [BLEEP!]

M Hi. It’s just a question. Why do people wear SUNGLASSES in the metro station or in the bus at night? This is something I don’t understand so please help me. [BLEEP!]

F Yes, this is for the guy who said that boobs are meant for staring at. Well, as the proud owner of some SIZE F BREASTS, I’d like to let you know that, no, they’re not for staring. They’re for observing, more. You know, looking, watching. A shy glance. Look at them, look away, look at them. But, yes, I know you’re going to notice my breasts, my breasts notice you too. I don’t mind if you look. Frankly, I spend most of my day looking at my own bosom. They’re gorgeous, round, firm, PERKY. Yes they’re rather large but my waist is pretty small so, you know, they’re nice to look at. So look away. Everyone be a little discreet but my breasts say thank you. They like the attention. [BLEEP!]

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