Thrust and run

Sounds like a beautiful way for young lovers to spend a weekday morning; tucked away from the world, flesh all a-tingle with the anticipation of coming coitus, and a bit of porn on the telly. But soft! What cock through yonder orifice breaks? From what Amanda Moya could tell, that thespian straddling a starlet on the DVD was the very bearer of the boom-chikka she was about to wa-wa. With the mood killed, Amanda figured her boyfriend may as well be next.

The 20-year-old Albuquerque, NM, woman was mistaken about the actor’s identity, but nonetheless the only penetration that morning was of cold steel into her boyfriend’s upper body. Fleeing Moya’s wrath, the man called 911.

“She almost shanked me and everything,” he told the dispatcher, also mentioning Moya’s prior battery charges, that she’d already stabbed him the face, bitten his chest and was still chasing him. The dispatcher suggested the man keep running, and he soon crossed the path of the cruiser dispatched to his home. Officers apprehended Moya en route to her beau’s throat. She faces charges of aggravated assault and battery, as well as child abuse for leaving her infant son alone while she went to kill daddy.

by Scott Saxon