THIS WEEK: Pole dancers, swastikas,
school projects!

PLUS: Link between big boobs
and aggression contested!!

F First and foremost, Omnikrom rocks my fucking colour screen. I love them and anyone who’s hating on this marvelous Quebec product needs to move to Ontario so I can’t hear their squawking ass. And while I’ve got the mic in my hand, I just want to put out there some kind of energy about a crush that I’ve developed on one of the singers in Omnikrom, the guy with the curly hair and the blue eyes. So if he’s reading this or if anybody who parlay’s with the motherfucker is reading this, can you pass along the message that a hot sexy POLE DANCER, aka a stripper who dances at Gentleman’s Choice, would love to meet the guy and see his blue eyes. And please realize that I can do more than romance and dance his sweet ass in a wet dream. So for all the non-cock blockers out there, help a bitch get laid and pass along the message. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M Holy fuck! A rant that mentioned Velvet Trench Vibes, Nomadic Massive and eleveneighty? I saw Nomadic Massive open up for Wyclef Jean and they basically blew Wyclef right off the stage. As for eleveneighty, arguably the best unsigned band in the city right now. Peace out. [BLEEP!]

F I would just like to know who the fuck are the Velvet Trench Vibes? Every time I open the Mirror, it’s about them. Do they have shows? Are they popular? Are they talented? [BLEEP!]

F Hi. I was just wondering if anybody can tell me when exactly Taste of Chaos is going to happen. I can’t find the date and I would like to know because I’m doing a SCHOOL PROJECT on it. It would be really helpful if I knew when it was so I could, like, save up some money to get the tickets and everything. Thanks. [BLEEP!]

M To the jackass who was complaining about the guy who was complaining about the Leonard Cohen tickets being too expensive. I mean $250 to see a guy who can’t even fucking sing?! His two novels are good, his poetry is all right, but let’s face it, his music sucks! [BLEEP!]

M This is going to buddy who just spent $50 on a ticket for the Wu-Tang show. You maybe should have checked the printed line-up. [BLEEP!]

M This goes out to all the wannabe rock star ARTISTS who work at the Casa nightshift. Why don’t you pull the broomstick out of your asses and serve me another drink? [BLEEP!]

F This is regarding the comment about people with BIG BOOBS being aggressive and domineering. What the fuck, man? I’ve got big boobs and I’m not fucking aggressive!! But that’s besides the point. Maybe they’re more aggressive because people keep judging them they by the fact that they have big boobs and they forget about their heads. [BLEEP!]

F To the guy that said women with big boobs are aggressive and domineering. Well, listen, sweetie, jealousy is never a good thing. I have to say I have an E CUP and my waist is smaller than yours could ever be, so yeah it probably looks like I have big boobs. But, whatever, who cares? I’m just saying I’m not aggressive and domineering because I have big boobs, I’m aggressive because you’re stupid, that’s why. Big boobs fucking ROCK, a’ight? I make more money than you just by showing off my boobs, bitch. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, this is for the guy who’s afraid of the swastikas on the old building. The building obviously predates HITLER, as does the swastika. It’s a symbol that you can find 3,000 years ago throughout many cultures, most significantly in Hinduism, Judaism and even in native North Americans. So man, don’t be afraid. [BLEEP!]

M To the kid who lost his American Apparel backpack and MacBook, I feel your pain, but don’t give me this shit that you’re not a RICH PLATEAU KID. You got LCD Soundsystem in an American Apparel backpack?! What, the Gap’s not good enough for you? A Provigo bag isn’t good enough for you? And you have a fucking Mac? What? A $250 Dell not good enough for you? Fuck you. But I hope you find your stuff. [BLEEP!]

M To the person who lost their MacBook. If you provide us with the serial number, most probably found in the invoice of the machine, or with your name, we can do a little bit of work with our database, which could possibly yield more information about the lost notebook. Contact us, we’d like to help. James from I-Technique. [BLEEP!]

M Hello, this is Marc Boris St-Maurice, local prominent marijuana activist, just calling in about the vaporizer review. I agree with the previous caller that vaporizers are a great way to go and to save yourself any problems and carcinogens and other health risks, but I have to say that the only one that really works is the VOLCANO. If you’re spending less, that may work short term but it’s going to break, fall apart. If you really are serious about vaporizing pot, you’ll spend the money and get a Volcano. I have no financial interest in this organization, I just think that it’s the only one that works and you can get them for about $400 on eBay. A sound investment and you can resell it five years down the line for $400, contrary to the other cheap stuff that will break and, in fact, don’t really work. Anyway, you can do what you like. Don’t take my word for it. Go ahead and try them all. Cheers, guys. [BLEEP!]

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