Dirty little marsupial

When a Motueka, New Zealand, man called police claiming he was being raped by a wombat, plausible as it might have been, no quadruped was picked up for questioning.

Arthur Ross Cradock began his phone call to the local police emergency dispatch with a threat to “smash the filth.” Asked if he had an emergency to report, Cradock answered, “I have been raped by a wombat.”

Shortly thereafter, Cradock called again and requested immediate assistance. The wombat, he claimed, was raping him even while the emergency call was being made. In a third call, Cradock withdrew his rape complaint, explaining that the wombat had “pulled out.”

“Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty okay,” Cradock told the operator. “I didn’t hurt my bum at all.”

While police say alcohol played a big role in Cradock’s day-to-day life, Cradock’s attorney insists he wasn’t drinking that day. Charged with using a phone for fictitious purposes, Cradock was sentenced to 75 hours of community service.

by Scott Saxon