THIS WEEK: Moby, Stillepost,
Sing Sing!

PLUS: The Rant Line™ returns!!

M Hey, what’s going on, Rant Line™? Okay, this is about the local music scene and about artists not getting respect locally. The best artist I can think of local would have to be my man Narcicyst from Euphrates, yo. And Rugged Intellect, that cracker is killing it, man. Motherfuckers got a lot of talent but no one’s really making an effort to get them heard, especially with the language barriers. If you are not francophone, you’ve got to go and create your own avenues, you know what I’m saying? And the ones that are successful, the anglophone artists that are successful out of Montreal, are the ones that went out and made their own literal niche. So peace, respect and much love Montreal. Yeah. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, the only sad thing about Velvet Trench Vibes is that they need to go to New York or L.A. or somewhere like that where they can get noticed for the amazing talent that they have. Don’t miss your chance, guys. [BLEEP!]

F Yes. I have an opinion on the local music scene in Montreal. It consists of a bunch of HAS-BEENS patting each other’s backs for things they did five years ago on forums like Stillepost. I don’t care if five years ago you played at Coachella, because the music scene in Montreal now doesn’t exist. I mean, it’s over. [BLEEP!]

M Hey Rant Line™, it’s Sunday morning and last night we were trying to go to the MOBY show, we actually made it through about five metres of snow and we were there for about 21/2 hours, midnight until 2:30, and guess who didn’t show? Even though they said he was in the building at 1 or 1:30 a.m.? Well, it’s Moby himself and we were kind of pissed about that and we hope to get our money back somehow or hope to get a substitute show or whatever. Later. [BLEEP!]

F Adam Chaki, there’s a big line-up of one person waiting to have sex with you. So come out, come out of the SNOWBANK. [BLEEP!]

M So I go downstairs this morning and you can see right there in the SNOW where the sidewalk plow has swerved to deliberately destroy my bike! How am I supposed to replace that?! We can’t all make $30 an hour with full benefits from the city?? If I’d had a car that got hit, I bet I’d be able to get some money back from the city. It’s still all my transportation!! [BLEEP!]

M This is Sebastian from Sing Sing resto bar and the Kop Shop Gallery. I just want to say fuck you, Waldman’s. Fuck you very, very much. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, about the PubliSacs. I totally agree, man—I had the sticker up and they just won’t stop bringing these bloody PubliSacs. I found the best way to deal with it was I took the PubliSac and I tossed it at the carrier and it hit him in the back of the head. They never brought another PubliSac again. So try that. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. Is it me or are only white people recycling? Think about it. When was the last time you’ve seen one of our esteemed newcomers putting out a green box? Now, I understand they did not contribute to the mess we WHITE INDUSTRIALIST PIGS caused in the first place, but now they are here, could they help recycle their own new piles of garbage? [BLEEP!]

M To the dude that was looking for HOLLYWOOD—I saw him on Crescent street the other night and it was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. He approached this guy in a full business suit, it was two in the morning and the guy was just standing there smoking a butt. Hollywood walks right up to him, the guy looked petrified, Hollywood brings out his BANANA and says “This is a stick up.” The guy laughed and gave Hollywood a bunch of change. So, yeah, I saw him and he’s doing okay. [BLEEP!]

F Hello. I’m a 63-YEAR-OLD GRANDMOTHER from British Columbia and I do agree with the Gone-treal, that is very apropos. I also want to say something about the writing that made reference to the men in TIGHT PANTS. I think they wear tight pants because men like to wear them low hung and that’s the only way they can keep their pants up is to have them tight around the legs, but then I’m just a 63-year-old grandmother. What do I know? Bye. [BLEEP!]

F Gone-treal? Ugg. That makes me want to barf. [BLEEP!]

M I’ve got a big dick and I’ve slept with a lot of girls that had boyfriends with small dicks and what they’ve told me is this: When you’ve got a small dick, even if you are the sweetest most handsome guy around, you work out, you got money, a nice car, speak five languages, it don’t matter. Because when a girl pulls down your pants, there is always going to be the same DEFLATION in her eyes and there’s nothing you can do about it. [BLEEP!]

F The last few weeks in the Rant Line™ I’ve been reading all about PENIS this and penis that and I love it. Keep it coming—no pun intended. We’re reading it like there’s no tomorrow waiting for the next special. And, you know, I think you should change the name of the Rant Line™ to the Penis Line™. Thanks a lot. Good night. [BLEEP!]

Got an opinion on the local muisc scene?
We want to hear from you!
Call (514) 271-RANT (7268).