Love sucks

The job seemed straightforward enough; lock down the construction site and call it a day. But sometimes, in the right kind of mood, a guy sees something that can lead him astray. Something that fills him with uncontrollable lust. And sometimes that something is a vacuum cleaner.

Stout, bright red and adorned with large, dark eyes and a coy smile, it’s hard to see how any normal man could not want to fuck Henry the Hoover in the nose, but that didn’t save a construction worker his job with a London, England, building contractor.

Asked to lock up for the night at a job HG Construction had been doing at a local hospital, the man was instead found by a security guard in an otherwise abandoned hospital lunch room, naked, down on his knees, balls deep in the Henry the Hoover model drum vacuum cleaner. The security guard immediately told him to clean himself and Henry and get out.

According to the man’s employers, the man claimed he had simply been vacuuming his underpants, which he insisted was a common practice in his native Poland.

by Scott Saxon