Red and blue

Knife Assailants for Hillary has a nice ring to it, and she’ll take anyone she can get at this point. Of course, one can’t count Obama out: he’s got the chokers backing him.

Granted, the sample group for the findings is remarkably small, but a 28-year-old Collegeville, PA, man and his 42-year-old brother-in-law have made their preferences crystal clear by turning an in-house political debate into an all-out throw-down.

According to prosecutors, 28-year-old Jose Ortiz, a registered Republican turned Hillary supporter, was arguing who was most worthy of leading the Democrats to victory. His brother-in-law, Sean Shurelds, felt Barack Obama was the man to do it. One assumes the two exhausted their intellectual discussion when, finding themselves at a stalemate, the discussion was upgraded to argument, and then quickly to melee.

Shurelds is accused of choking Ortiz, who then grabbed a knife and thrust it into Shurelds’s stomach. Police arrived to find Shurelds bleeding heavily from a single stab wound. Ortiz was described as “all wet” from having washed up the traces of his misdeeds. The weapon was found in the dishwasher, already cleaned.

Ortiz faces charges of aggravated and simple assault and reckless endangerment.

by Scott Saxon