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A TRIAL BY SWEAT AND TESTOSTERONE:
Competition night

by CODY CARLSBAD

St. Valentine’s day has made February synonymous with love and all things heart-shaped. Yet, while for many this celebration of romantic sentiment manifests itself as flowers, a box of chocolates and a tender card from Hallmark, for others, nothing says “I love you” like a leather submission hood, assless chaps, and the taste of their master’s spit as it drips down their face. Vive la difference!

On Saturday, Feb. 8, the recently-opened bar, Tunnel, the latest incarnation of the basement space located at 1290 Amherst, played host to the 16th edition of the Mr. Leather Montreal 2008 competition. A healthy crowd showed up to witness the selection of this year’s Mr. Leather, a seminal event for a leather-inclined subsection of the city’s gay community. In the months leading up to the big night, there was a high degree of speculation as to whether our city’s Mr. Leather selection would even take place, as can unfortunately be the case for an event such as this. More than a year has gone by since the December 2006 selection of our city’s previous Mr. Leather. Indeed, the drama surrounding the bankruptcy of the group that formerly held the event, MC Faucons, did nothing to address worries that Montreal’s dearth of leather representation would go on unresolved. Yet with the creation of a new organizing group, the MCM, and support of previous Mr. Leather Montreal winners, the future of the contest seems secure. This was all carefully explained to us by the event’s lovely spiky-jockstrapped host. He had Veni Vedi Vici tattooed above his crotch, so he seemed like he knew what he was talking about.

Like Miss America, but with a gimp

Disregarding the almost primeval importance of having our own local Mr. Leather man, these eroticized emissaries are proving to be quite the local niche export. Much like how some South American countries pump out beauty queens, Montreal is consistently building a reputation for being a solid source of hot alternative-lifestyle pieces of ass. This is definitely the case with our Mr. Rubber Montreal 2007, Brian Turgeon, who later went on to be crowned Mr. Rubber International in Chicago. Previous to that, Bo Ladashevska, the hirsute studmuffin crowned Mr. Leather Montreal 2006, went on to also win the international title. Clearly, representing our fair city in this capacity can well lead to a lucrative career in public appearances and gay porn.

But just what defines a true Mr. Leather anyways? Is it a general flair for accessorizing leather accoutrements, or one’s skill at keeping their rawhide jockstrap nice and oiled? For the uninitiated, attending an event like this was certainly a real learning experience, a trial by sweat and testosterone that offered a glimpse into this.

The night unfolded as the three contestants vying for the title were subjected to a battery of events that were strangely Miss America-like. First there was the evening-wear part, where contestants in full leather regalia discussed how they made a difference in the community. Perhaps surprisingly, no desires for world peace were expressed. Second was a sort of bathing suit part, where preening contestants showed how well they filled out their jocks and harnesses. Last was the skills competition.

Interestingly, instead of baton twirling or xylophone playing, the only skill that seemed to matter in this category was one’s potential for domination. Each of the three competitors was awarded their very own restrained gimp, which they then proceeded to either shove around or dry hump at will. It was unclear what sort of qualifications were required to become a Mr. Leather gimp, but the ability to remain encased in Tupperware for long periods of time may be one.

In the end, it was the candidate sponsored by gay men’s store Priape who won the 2008 title. It was truly heart-warming, as our newly crowned M. Cuir Montréal 2008, the resplendent Bob Firth Tessier, seemed genuinely pleased to win. Clearly relieved once it was all over, he’s now looking forward to the international contest in Chicago later this year. From here on, with every bare ass cheek he whips, our hopes and prayers go with him!