Wet floors
and soaked jeans

by JACK OATMON

Due to a bizarre and inexplicable reservation about having the insides of my thighs felt up by beefy security guards, I must admit that I have often been remiss in my coverage of Montreal’s thriving and colourful afterhours club scene. But when I heard that Circus was expanding its operations to include a third room starting this past Saturday night, my desire to check it out understandably overwhelmed the deep-seated fabric of my perhaps unreasonable distaste for being given the airport treatment upon entry to a club.

So after a few wobbly pops at Mod Club at Main Hall and a tipsy Space Invaders session at Korova—ever careful to keep my feet out of the three inches of bog water inundating the back section of the bar—I grabbed a cab down to 915 Ste-Catherine E. at 3 a.m. With a bounce in my step and a swerve in my judgment, I elbowed through the posse of two-bit dust peddlers outside to get into the club. After a quick and easy violation of my personal space by security and a reasonable $3 coat check, I sidled jovially up to the bar for a $5 bottle of water and got ready to see what wonders a $35 price tag gets Joe Sixpack around these parts—which is an earful of one of the craziest indoor sound systems in the city. Stereo may hold the heavyweight belt for wattage, but Circus can’t be far behind, because the tunes were crisp, the bass was huge and the three rooms were incredibly well situated to be accessible without sound interference.

Musically, all three rooms were a bit on the repetitive side for me, as they were going for a genre-divisive layout, but that’s probably not such a bad thing given the amount of... energy products being consumed onsite. Being as it is that people tend to want to stick to a specific sound, and quite often even a specific mechanical motion, for long periods of time when consuming such products. I was also pretty impressed that they follow suit with the underground party scene when it comes to air quality. Just as well, given the paramilitary barricade you have to go through to get outside. Overall, the sound was amazing, the hodgepodge crowd was energetic and the decor and vibe were of an unearthly sterility—something that apparently turns a lot of peoples’ cranks.

Under other circumstances, I would have opted for the Megasoid jam over on my side of town that same night, but I managed to wrench a fun time out of it anyway. This week, if you’re lonely on Valentine’s Day and looking for a way to get felt up by strangers who aren’t there to protect you from yourself and your peers, I suggest you join me in indulging my dirty little burlesque habit. Blue Light Burlesque will be stealin’ roses and breakin’ cherries at la Tulipe tonight, Feb. 14. Also, Dead Dolls Cabaret will be continuing their eye-popping series at Café Cleopatre on Saturday, Feb. 23, with guests the Big Moves troupe, in from Boston. Keep your eyes peeled for local burlesque personality Nat King Pole, who is the knee-slappingly hilarious, tongue-twisting Weird Al of the drag kingdom.

ENGAGING IN JOURNALISTIC OBSERVATION OF BOOBIES FOR
THE GOOD OF THE PEOPLE…jack.oatmon@gmail.com