Hybrid
humping

The sad fact is, some guardian dragons do a better job of keeping their charges safe from harm than others. But Pottsville, Pennsylvania’s Kristian Allen Carl can’t blame his situation entirely on his guardian dragon. Nor can he blame it on his lycanthropy or vampirism, both of which are undoubtedly difficult enough to contend with. Instead, he has to blame himself, since he knew going in, as it were, that a 19-year-old like himself could “get in trouble” for having sex with a 15-year-old girl.

While the girl described Carl as her “boyfriend” in her affidavit to police, the age of consent is 16 in Pennsylvania, unless there are fewer than four years between the fornicators’ ages. Carl convinced the girl he was a werewolf/vampire hybrid on the night they met. Two nights later, they had sex, and now Carl is facing charges of statutory sexual assault.

Carl told police about his supernatural afflictions while insisting he had a guardian dragon who protected him “from evil-doers.” As proof, he showed them his canine teeth. Police Sergeant James Joos told Carl that, “all mammals—including humans—have canines.”

He was released on $25,000 bail.

by Scott Saxon