Dear Sasha, How effective are cock rings at maintaining an erection longer? I have also heard that they can offer a different, pleasurable feeling than going au naturel—is this myth or truth? What model would be best to stimulate the clitoris?
My girlfriend and I are quite curious about this since she has never managed to orgasm through intercourse though she has no issue when it comes to oral or self-stimulation.
—Hoping for an O
Dear Hoping,
I can see where your logic is going: if you maintain an erection longer, your girlfriend will have more time to focus on having an orgasm during penetration and then for the next five months you guys can spend several frustrating hours a week adding a competitive edge to your sex life and tainting her current orgasmic technique with a derogatory, obsolete quality. (I’m just warning you that this might happen, so please pay careful attention to how you go about “achieving” this.)
Keep your eyes peeled for a cock ring that has a vibrating attachment on it (for examples, see www.extremerestraints.com/the-o-wow-vibrating-cock-ring_2417.html). It looks like your girlfriend might stimulate her clitoris via the tip so you’ll want that portion of it attended to while you’re penetrating her. Different people have different experiences with different sex toys so experimenting is often the only way to tell if something is going to work for you. Just remember to have fun, kids.
Dear Sasha, I have questions about vaginal orgasms (as defined without clitoral stimulation). I read (probably from an unreliable source) that only 50 per cent of women have them. Is this a myth or can you “practise” to learn how to get them?
I am at peace with my sexuality in general but I can’t achieve vaginal orgasms so far, with or without a partner. I know approximately where the G-spot is and have been experimenting with a vibrator, but it’s a bit of a challenge without the clitoris involved. Any tips? Were you always able to have vaginal orgasms or did you start out with clitoral for a while?
—Vagorgasm Virgin
Dear Vag,
Somehow we have managed to leave harmful Victorian sex inventions like the Stephenson Spermatic Truss behind, but the worst of Freud’s theories really stuck, didn’t they? Vagorgasm, you do not start out with clitoral orgasms then move on to vaginal ones as though they are some sort of advanced sexual state. The clitoris is not the training wheels of the vagina and its structure runs far beyond the tip, suggesting that even vaginal orgasms engage its support.
Admittedly, when I was young, I had orgasms during what could be described as unassisted penetrative sex. I know now that this was because I was too shy to tell someone to go down on me or use a vibrator and I focused like hell to grind on any available surface. I can’t believe I was able to get off on a thatch of bristly pubic hair—my determination amazes me. Now I am comfortable coming on my own terms and I do not sleep with anyone who grudgingly hands me a vibrator as though it is an unmitigated insult to their cock, real or metaphorical.
And at the risk of being indiscreet, if any penis was created with a presumed eye to what would “give” a woman an unaided penetrative orgasm, it is the one I have access to now, and still I want additional stimulation. Boys, just trust us: the penis would be a mighty unwieldy object if it alone were designed to provide for all women’s orgasms. Underwear might look like the aforementioned anti-masturbation contraption to contain its myriad accessories.
Vagorgasm, do you enjoy cooking? And if so, do you pore over cookbooks with their meticulous recipes and mouthwatering photos of completed meals? Even if you do not, you do understand the obsession and necessity of having cookbooks if one is interested in food preparation, right? Then why, pray tell, does someone as concerned about female orgasm as you are not seem to have several books describing the female sexual anatomy? Why do statistics interest you more than details? Help make my job obsolete, Vag! The V Book is one that may interest you and more generally speaking, The Guide to Getting It On.
Got any questions for Sasha? E-MAIL: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM |
