THIS WEEK: Rockette, Death Boat,
STM metro people!

PLUS: Anonymous vs. the Church of Scientology!!

M Hi, my name is Marie Ève Cool and I’m the manager of Rockette’s bar on St-Denis street. This is about the young woman who called the Rant Line™ about Rockette last week. I wish to make it extremely clear that I myself and any other member of my staff do not encourage nor tolerate racism, homophobia or violence in our establishment. If someone feels threatened or disrespected, I am always available for any serious complaints or comments, and my bouncers know and respect this. Otherwise, the only injury I can imagine someone will ever get for being kicked out of my bar is getting his or her FEELINGS hurt. I invite anyone to come and see for themselves and to contact me with any questions. [BLEEP!]

M This is regarding the white power SKINHEADS issue. I’ve seen those guys here and there over the years. Come to think of it, I even got CRUISED by one back at Bar St-Laurent. [BLEEP!]

M This goes out to the guy who’s bashing bands in COSTUME. I see where you are coming from, but if bands have to wear costumes to stand out among their saturated genre of music, then power to them. If they’re actually good, then it works. Take the band Death Boat for example. I went to one of their shows—not exactly my kind of music—and they fucking rocked. Nine guys in costume, that fucking rocked! They’re playing at Foufs on February 20. You should go check them out and then tell me what you think about bands in costume. [BLEEP!]

F I wish that I could put Kalmunity in a BOTTLE for all of you but I can’t. This is only a gift that you can give yourself. And I suggest you do that. Tuesday nights, 50 St-Zotique, 8–11, give yourself this gift. It’s amazing. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, there’s going to be a huge protest outside the CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY in Montreal that’s located at 4489 Papineau street. It will take place on February 10 and should start sometime around 11 a.m. Peace out. This is Anonymous. [BLEEP!]

F I’ve noticed a lot in the Rant Line™ that there’s a lot of people complaining about how they got something stolen at a party or they lost something. I just wanted to know on a personal level, like, do you ever get your stuff back? Yeah, that’s my story. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

F Hi. It’s 1:20 a.m. and it’s freezing. I just want to take this opportunity to say I’m concerned about all these stupid people at the bus stall. A good example would be this chick wearing a little Baby Phat jacket, no tuque, no nothing except those trendy DEAD ANIMAL BOOTS that don’t offer any warmth but have a brand name. And she’s complaining that it’s cold. I’m really concerned. You’re stupid. Thanks. [BLEEP!]

M Hello Rant Line™. So, my subject is transport in Montreal. Do I really need to say anymore? I mean, what about those bastard STM metro people who look at you like they want to hang you by the scrotum for being five cents short for a metro pass. Frankly, it looks pretty easy, you know, sitting down, flicking through a La Presse for the day with a leisurely cup of take-out coffee while there’s a QUEUE congregating around the bloody ticket booth so bloody long it feels like you’re waiting for a crappy ride at La Ronde. Bottom line, getting around in this city is wank. [BLEEP!]

M This one goes out to the douchebags who smear KETCHUP on the earpieces on the public payphones right near Square St-Louis on Prince Arthur. It’s the second time it’s happened to me and I was sick as hell talking to my sick father and I had nowhere to go to wipe the ketchup off of my fucking ear. If I ever see you guys around, if I ever catch anybody doing that again, I’m going to kick your fucking ass. [BLEEP!]

F I’ve just had the most fucking, fucking EMBARRASSING MOMENT of my life recently and I feel like this is the only place where I can let it out because I can’t tell my friends because all they’ll do is laugh and it’s not supposed to be a joke, it’s not funny. This is my life and this is fucking horrible and this is where I can be anonymous and I just have to get it out because I don’t have a therapist and I can’t trust my friends. Recently, I was with my boyfriend but I happened to also be on my period and I took out my TAMPON and for a moment I left it out on the floor and I forgot about it. And, you know, I left later on, and it was still there, I forgot about it, and he had business associates over at his place and people were sitting on his couch in his motherfucking living room and his dog comes out with my tampon in his mouth. And it’s not funny. [BLEEP!]

F Hi. This one goes out to the SEXOLOGIST who called last week about how a man just can’t get it up right after having an orgasm. That is so ridiculous. She’s got to go out there and get some more action. All you need to do, ladies, is show her rant to your man and they will prove her wrong. Mine did. That’s why I married him. He can get it up again and again and again and again. Rock and roll. Bye. [BLEEP!]

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