Big game hunting

by ERIK LEIJON

Upon initial inspection, one might look at Turok (X360, PS3/Touchstone, Propaganda) as a first-person shooter envisioned by Creationists, who dream of a prehistoric era (around 3,000 years ago) where dinosaurs and humans cavorted together in perfect harmony. Upon further analysis, Turok—the descendant in a long line of games starring the titular character—disappoints, despite massive promise.

If anyone can remember back to 1997 when the original Turok: Dinosaur Hunter graced the Nintendo 64 in all its foggy glory, then I can reassure you this particular version isn’t a clunky $130 cartridge. Not unlike my high expectations a decade ago, Turok 2008 has sections of Pangaeac pleasure sandwiched between stegosaurus dung.

The version of Turok I reviewed may not have been the final build and I only played for about three-and-a-half hours in one sitting (far away from my gaming area), so actual results may vary slightly (although highly doubtful). The game stars Joseph Turok, a proud Native American with stealth hunting skills and the uncanny ability to kill much stronger and far more agile dinosaurs.

Inexplicably, the mystical nature of dinosaurs and humans co-existing has been replaced with an unoriginal sci-fi plot where the supporting cast acts like Gears of War rejects and bland space soldiers are as much a threat as the dinos. Clearly the developers used the Halo series as a template, as the levels mimic the corridor, nature-based design of the early Halo 3 single-player levels. The gameplay is equally familiar.

While the elements were in place to make Turok a vastly different FPS, the developers chose to emphasize the sections that feel more generic. Case in point, Turok can hide in the tall grass and strike enemies from behind with a hunting knife, but more often than not, it’s easier and more effective to shoot instead. The bow and arrow could have been used for more than the odd snipe.

Other parts simply needed additional refinement. Whenever Turok gets knocked down by a dinosaur, there’s a one-second delay after he gets up when he’s unable to fire his gun. In a hectic battle against multiple raptors, getting knocked down ensures an annoying, unavoidable death.

The sound is also poorly synched and it’s extremely hard to tell where enemies are coming from based on hearing. Too often, I couldn’t orient myself correctly and would find myself surrounded by enemies with no way to sense them approaching. The dinosaurs are well animated and the plant life provides for interesting battles, so Turok has appreciable qualities.

Hurts so good

For 11 bucks at the online Playstation Store, PS3 owners can download a hilarious and highly original game called Pain. A masochistic surfer dude straps himself to a huge slingshot, and players can direct the Jackass wannabe into a variety of buildings, exploding gas tanks, windowpanes and plenty of other painful inanimate objects. Points are distributed based on how much damage is caused both corporeally and to the surrounding area.

It’s possible to ricochet the airborne daredevil into other objects after making initial contact to create massive chains of bodily harm. Having a bowling ball crush every bone in your convulsing body has never been so much fun.

The level seems pretty unassuming but there’s a tremendous amount of depth and every launch provided something new. The singular “level” is not a typo, unfortunately, though Sony has promised more payable content in the future. At one point our nameless self-mutilator has an existential moment and asks: “I do this... why?” The reason is simple, my doomed digital amigo: your pain is my pleasure.