Shit Face shakedown

There’s not much one can say about collection agencies that doesn’t paint them out to be a bunch of scab-lipped piss-sniffers talking tough from the safe anonymity of a dunce barn filled with other $12-an-hour plebs. Sometimes, however, even they go too far, and if Derby, New York, resident Justin Thompson is to be believed, this is one of those times.

Tapped as having an unpaid balance of $16.39 on an old Columbia House membership, Thompson received a threatening letter from Nationwide Collectors addressed to Mr. Shit Face.

The letter, which Thompson summarizes as saying, “We’re basically going to sue you if you don’t pay for this,” began with the salutation, “Dear Shit.” It included a return portion that he was expected to sign as “Shit Face.” Thompson says the letter made him “nervous.” So nervous that he hired attorney Kenneth Hiller.

“It would cost them more to file the suit, to hire a lawyer, than they would get,” said Hiller. “I’ve never heard of a lawsuit over a $16 debt.”

Hiller has filed suit against Nationwide on Thompson’s behalf. According to Nationwide, the letter was computer-generated to the name on record from Thompson’s original Columbia House subscription form.

by Scott Saxon