Bash ’em up

>>Roller Derby captain says the bruises
and black eyes are secondary to the camaraderie

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Nadine Lerner, aka Ashley Thudd

Age: 40—“The oldest girl in the league”

Occupation: Businesswoman/Co-captain of Montreal Roller Derby team La Racaille

Bio: When this vivacious Old Montreal resident and former professional ballerina isn’t busy designing and manufacturing giftware out of recycled wood through her company Blue Dogz Design (bluedogzdesign.com), she can be found kicking serious female ass around the roller rink as Ashley Thudd in the Montreal Roller Derby League. Having strapped on the blades earlier in her career for what could only have been one wacky European ballet production, Nadine, who hooked up with the league a little over a year ago, says the roller derby has been a life-changing experience. She drives a 2003 VW Beetle and would ideally like to sell her company, retire, “and maybe just go to Costa Rica for a year or so and surf, get really good at it.”

How this businesswoman decided to become a local roller derby star: While in Chicago on a business trip, Nadine suddenly got “very, very sick” and found herself lying in a hospital bed, reevaluating her existence on this planet. “Suddenly I went, ‘Holy shit, I need some more fun in my life! All I do is work. I’m stuck living way out on the West Island, I’m just too young not to be having fun anymore.’” So, upon her recovery and return to Montreal, she left her man of 10 years, moved back into the city and promptly informed the Montreal Roller Derby League that she was ready to see some action. “And it just changed everything, the difference in my life has been amazing.”

How hard it is to secure a spot in the league: “It wasn’t that tough for me personally, but there are certainly a few basic requirements involved.”

Is one of them having superior cunnilingus skills? “You know, it might sound funny, but I never even considered that there might be a lot of lesbians in the roller derby. I really underestimated that factor when I first joined. But the truth is that it’s a mix of straight girls and lesbians, and it’s great. There’s such a variety of people involved in the league. You’ve got make-up artists, mothers, nurses, business owners, students, hairdressers—it’s crazy the differences in the women.”

Is it all theatre or does she hold serious grudges towards any of the broads she competes against? Not really. “It’s true we may try and kill each other on the rink, but then we’ll go out and just have the greatest time together. But it’s definitely a little rough. Like, I’ve had a couple of black eyes and some really wicked bruises. Oh yeah, we definitely play to win. And it’s great because, you know, as you get older, there’s not a lot of things a woman can do like this.”

Are there big bucks to be made in the roller derby? “Nah, it’s all about having fun.”

Childhood ambition: “To be free, to be the boss of me.”

Last book read: Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Musical preferences: James Taylor, Kanye West.

Words of wisdom: “Never regret what you try, only what you don’t try.”

Comments: dimwit@hdot.net