Hardee-
hard time

Surely we’ve all laughed at the notion of hitting pedestrians and bicyclists while driving. Guffawed at the number of points each might be worth. Tittered almost to tears at the idea of them splayed across the concrete, shoes knocked off, bowels emptied, a crimson puddle forming under their broken, lifeless bodies. But most would stop laughing around the actual point of impact. Not Melissa Arrington. Shame the presiding judge didn’t share her sense of humour.

Arrington was already reasonably screwed after killing a cyclist while driving drunk on a licence suspended for a prior DUI. The two DUI counts and negligent homicide charges carried a minimum sentence of four years. Then the judge heard a recording between Arrington and her friend in which the two joked about Arrington getting a medal for taking out a “tree hugger, a bicyclist, a Frenchman and a gay guy all in one shot.” Her friend is heard apologizing and saying that it was a “terrible thing to say,” at which point the laughing Arrington corrects him: “No, it’s not.”

Pima County, Arizona, Superior Court Judge Michael Cruikshank agreed with Arrington’s friend. He sentenced Arrington to 10-and-a-half years, one year less than the maximum possible.

by Scott Saxon