THIS WEEK: Bus drivers, call centres,
women’s feet!

PLUS: Mile-End music store scheme!!

M Hi Rant Line™, I live in Mile-End and there are a lot of musicians and artists who live in this neighbourhood. So how come there isn’t a musical instrument store here? People have to go all the way to Steve’s or Moog for guitar strings or a mic. If anybody’s looking for a business opportunity, I think this would be a good idea. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M This one goes out to the little WHITE WITCH who was at Stereo the other night. She was excluding all the gay guys from her 10-foot-square imaginary area. Darling, if you don’t like to see good looking guys having fun, don’t come into the Village. Stay on St-Laurent and Crescent where you belong. Homophobic witch. [BLEEP!]

F Listen, saying that anyone looks and dresses like a CRACK DEALER from Burgundy is extremely stereotypical, because what does a crack dealer from Burgundy dress and look like? I live in Burgundy, I dress like an urban adult and I do not sell crack. The person who said that is stereotyping and discriminating against the young youth living in Little Burgundy that don’t sell drugs. Someone should educate you before you go talking about people’s districts that you know nothing about. [BLEEP!]

M Man, you Verdun motherfuckers, I’ve lived all over the city but I’ve never seen so much crap on the sidewalk as I’ve seen in Verdun. Dog shit and SANDWICH BAGS filled with dog shit all over the goddamn streets. Messiest fucking borough in the city, man. [BLEEP!]

M I’m just calling because I’m a little bit confused and somewhat scared. I keep seeing this same BLACK DOG with no owner. It crossed my path twice in a row now, one time in the Plateau and one time in Mile-End. And some people say it means DEATH, although to some people in Scotland it apparently means that new friendships are coming my way. But most say it is bad, bad luck. I just need to figure this out or maybe somebody just lost a damn dog and they need to retrieve it before people go crazy. [BLEEP!]

F Hey, this one’s for all the ASSHOLE BUS DRIVERS out there. I’d just like to kindly point out that if you pricks go on strike, you’re not winning any support from anyone. We all think you’re just punishing the public. What the fuck did we do? Keep raising the bus passes, we keep paying, get shitty service and you make over 30 bucks an hour—do you know how many people would kill for that?! Do you know what it’s like working at McDonald’s for seven bucks an hour? Selfish pricks. And if you want to get your money and get people to pay attention to you, why don’t you hit ’em where it hurts. How about instead of going on strike, you just DON’T CHARGE for the bus and metro. You ever think of that one, geniuses? Like holy fuck, if you have a bad day at work, do you beat your kids? [BLEEP!]

M This is for the guy who said that the world was going to end in the year 2012 and based all of this on a Google search that he did. Did you also know that the World Trade Center was brought down by a CONTROLLED DEMOLITION. I know this to be 100 per cent fact because I read it on the Internet. Everything on the Internet is true. [BLEEP!]

M So I call one of these business-to-business call centres for an interview and the guy tells me I got the job and to show up Monday morning for training. So I arrive with a few others and we sit in this little room with broken chairs, we sit there for over an hour before some guy with a BLACK EYE comes in, gives us a sheet to fill out with our social insurance, our names etc. Then they make us listen to recordings of callers ripping people off. Basically, they call businesses, pretend to be the YELLOW PAGES, sell them $400 ads for Internet Web sites that don’t actually provide a service, then they use a separate company to collect the ones that don’t pay. The trick is the Yellow Pages name and logo is not COPYRIGHTED. So I sit there for six hours and then I find out we’re not even hired and that this is actually an interview. I then listen to kids calling these companies and threatening their credit ratings for not paying the $400 for their fake Yellow Pages ads. Nobody asks me any questions, I was there for six hours and then I get a call that night telling me I didn’t get the job so I told them to suck my dick. [BLEEP!]

M I like FEET, right—women’s feet. You tell me, is it a foot fetish because you think feet are beautiful or is it a foot fetish if you’re OBSESSED with feet? Now, for me, I take a look at every woman’s feet—well, maybe not every woman—but a lot of women are just sitting there and there’s nothing to do on the bus, or wherever, I just take a LITTLE LOOK and, you know, if it’s a nice foot, maybe I’ll look at it again. I don’t know, I just want someone’s opinion. Do you think I have a foot fetish? [BLEEP!]

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