Lust in space

by ERIK LEIJON

I know Edmonton-based BioWare’s Mass Effect (X360/Microsoft, BioWare) is last year’s news, but I still have some pent up rage from before Christmas, and an explanation is necessary concerning its omission in my top-nine list of 2007. Much has been said about how it takes BioWare’s continued affection for the Choose Your Own Adventure series of novels to the stars, and upon completion of what is supposed to be the first in a series of Mass Effect sci-fi epics, I’ll decide to be slightly miffed by this space opera (turn to pg. 151).

First I’ll get the elephant out of the room by discussing cross-species relations. Yes, it is possible to have sex with other characters in the game, including aliens. Since you can choose the gender of your human lead, might I recommend the female. In addition to the female character having a much more interesting voice-over actor (the male lead is as wooden as Ashton Kutcher in a dramatic role), alien-human girl-on-girl action can happen (there are no male-male options, btw).

The main problem is that this takes a bit of time if you aren’t able to woo the object of your affection by choosing the right dialogue responses during those special one-on-one moments. It’s also not part of the main quest, so you’ll be spending time away from level-building and real missions, trying to hook up with a blue humanoid with liver spots. Play the game straight (which can be done in less than 10 hours if you avoid diversions) and you’ll miss out. At least it will give you a chance to get accustomed to the game’s interaction system.

Like the aforementioned adventure books, Shepard (the lead character) can choose different answers when conversing with other characters. Typically he can choose between nice, tough but fair, and utter douchebag responses, and eventually your attitude towards others will dictate where the story goes. The effects are subtle, and it’s only after you callously choose to kill a few of your squad mates and the space council that you realize the story branches into two distinct conclusions.

GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION: Mass Effect

BioWare was hyping the smoothness of the dialogue, and the final result leaves much to be desired, unless hearing Shepard ask, “Tell me what you know about Saren,” for the umpteenth time sounds appealing. Actually, the main problem I have with BioWare’s catalogue of recent titles, from Knights of the Old Republic to Jade Empire, is the emphasis placed on boring dialogue. Having a conversation with an alien before vaporizing him remains an unnatural transition.

Upgrading and equipment selection is fun, but made annoying with the surprise 150-item limit. I received no warning until it was too late that I had one too many ablative coating upgrades, and in mid-mission I had to spend a good five minutes perusing the menu screen, turning whatever unused items I had into omni-gel. The biotic powers are fun to use, but not always practical or necessary.

The main point of the game is to play through the story and enjoy the unique, film-grain graphical style. Because of this, there’s little reason to play again, even to see the other ending or play with a different specialty class. It may be a step forward in storytelling, but the gameplay is woefully out of date.

Old is new

Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles (Wii/Capcom) pisses the hell out of me greatly because of this new-fangled Wii zapper. The zapper is merely a light gun, which has been in service since Duck Hunt 20 years ago, and Chronicles is just a really mediocre shooter. For a major third-party Wii-exclusive, Chronicles won’t keep your attention for more than an hour.