THIS WEEK: DJ Slyde, mall punks,
416 vs. 514!

PLUS: 2 Girls 1 Cup!!

M Y’all motherfuckers is lame. You understand me? This motherfucking city think everybody hot and shit, they think they all the shit, they think they know everything, everywhere you go. You go to the punk clubs, they think they the number one punks anywhere. Their bullshit little ass haircuts and their little fucking fashion clothes. You go to a hip hop scene, they think they the most gangsta shit. You go to a motherfucking rave, these motherfuckers are the biggest FRUITCAKES in the world. Everywhere you go in this 514 motherfucking spot, man. Can’t get over it, man, this fucking city is full of shit, y’all. You understand? This is Big Skunk, 416, ripping that shit. This motherfucking city sucks dick. [BLEEP!]

M GWAR a shitty band? And what does GWAR have to do with fucking Bam Margera? GWAR was around a long, long, long time before Bam Margera even became anybody doing Jackass shit. Plus poor kids have been doing that shit for years because they had no money and no attention on so that’s nothing new either. It’s just been bastardized by the mainstream, just like CANDY PUNK. And you’re probably one of those people who think that’s cool. Or maybe you’re one of those who are into rap-with-a-fucking-message, all those college-educated middle-class rap stars who are trying to tell you you don’t have to be all ghetto to rap. Meanwhile they don’t know shit about living the hard street. [BLEEP!]

F This is for the Sid Vicious Girl. I’m the girl that ranted back about Richard Hell. I think your response is pretty hilarious. I mean, you say don’t want to get worked up but you’re taking a total shit fit. I live in the West Island. I guess I probably live pretty close to you, you’re probably some little MALL PUNK. I shouldn’t make assumptions about you, but you called me a bitch and you never even met me. Maybe I’m just a guy with a high-pitched voice. I might not even be a woman! I’m not just saying that just because you have horrible taste in men and music. Such a bad punk. Did you think of that when you were walking around FAIRVIEW shopping centre looking for your studded bracelet and your fluorescent pink striped leg warmers for the winter? Anyway, Television didn’t suck. Television was one of the greatest bands ever. They had something called musical talent, something that the Sex Pistols never heard of. And Richard Hell didn’t make his name in Television, so it’s totally besides the point whether they sucked or not. You’re an idiot and you have horrible taste in men and I was laughing my ass off at your response. I’m kind of glad I got you that mad because I’m a bit of an ATTENTION WHORE myself so thank you. [BLEEP!]

M A bit late with this but welcome back, DJ Slyde, Mr. Disco Montreal on CKUT. Friday from six to seven and other assorted times. What a great DJ we got in Montreal. If you love disco like I love disco, not the fucking radio Top 50 disco, but the all-time greatest disco and the disco hits, then this is it. Long songs. Not three-and-a-half minute songs with some bullshit singing. Disco songs. In the disco with all the little noises and disco, baby, disco. If you love disco, DJ Slyde is the man. Okay, DJ Slyde. He’s like a fucking DISCO HERO. [BLEEP!]

M Hello Rant Line™. I just went to see the Dresden Dolls last night at the National. Wow, they don’t suck at all. They’re so good. Best two-piece band I’ve ever seen and probably will ever see. They rule. Dresden Dolls. Peace. [BLEEP!]

F Dear Rant Line™, about two months ago somebody left a rant comparing some bands to the DETROIT COBRAS and I’ve looked through the archives and I can’t seem to find it. Who were they? My number is [leaves phone number]. Thank you, Rant Line™. [BLEEP!]

M You know how KOROVA on St-Laurent has those tables that are actually video games from the ’80s? Well, that’s all fine and good but if you’re actually going to sit down at one of those tables and play one of those games, then to everybody else at the bar, it looks like you’re JERKING OFF under the table. Thanks. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I’m a first time caller. I’m calling concerning printing a publication of POEMS. I have a bunch of poems but I don’t know how to proceed. So anyone with information, please respond. Thanks in advance. I’ll probably give a sample of what I have next time for all you beautiful people out there. Peace and love. [BLEEP!]

F Yes, this is regarding all those contests in those fabulous men’s magazines such as Stuff and Maxim etc. All those competitions are only for males. I’m a big PORKCHOP rump roast pussy looking for other pussies to bag, tag and take ’em home. I want to compete against the bucks out there looking to rope ’em in. So, please, let’s gang up together all you females and reach out and touch a bitch and get the managers and editors-in-chiefs of Stuff and Maxim magazine to make it a bisexual contest. One where pussy and dick can roam free together and compete in the wilderness and kill Bambi’s mother. May the winner win. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, Rant Line™, I’m just trying to find something out. Last week there was a clip of TWO GIRLS and a CUP on Youtube and I just want to find out where is the link because I want to see this shit. Am I the only one that never seen this shit? Bye, Rant Line™. [BLEEP!]

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