Dear Sasha, My girlfriend and I want to rent some heterosexual group sex videos, ideally with four or more performers in each scene. Can you please suggest some specific titles or directors whose work you admire and that you feel are tastefully done? By this we mean no violent or forced scenes against women, just movies where all the participants seem to be genuinely enjoying themselves in an atmosphere of willing consent.
—Curious
Dear Curious,
As a general rule, porn from the ’70s will feature nice, sloppy group scenes, likely because swinging was the big sex novelty at that time. The following contemporary films are not-wall-to wall group but contain scenes of it:
Millionaire 2 from Private Video. Just about anything from Private is slickly produced with some attempt at plot. The sex is hardcore and performed by really attractive people but occasionally it feels banal and overly choreographed. (Check out Serge Gainsbourg’s doppelganger though!)
Fade to Black 2 from Vivid directed by and starring Paul Thomas. PT makes a damn good porno with at least some performers who know how to connect on film. He uses 16mm so every thrilling, nasty detail is captured and he has an eye for Cassavetes-style shots and ambience. His artiste manqué persona becomes a bit of a buzz kill though, but there are some hot group sex scenes.
The Slutty Professor from Wicked. Cinema verité, so “porn within a porn” is an industry trend right now and the “gritty” acting sucks weenies but there’s a big fat orgy at the end of this. Best to watch with sound off and finger firmly on fast forward.
Hug a Hoodie by Anna Span. Love her work. Natural, well-paced group scene with loads of good humour. Keep your eyes peeled for her name.
Dear Sasha, I am a 31-year-old heterosexual woman. For years, I have wondered whether the fantasies I use to stay aroused and reach orgasm are a sign that I have unhealthy sexual patterns in my brain. For the most part, I am able to become aroused with a partner sans mind wandering, but in order to reach climax I must fantasize about them engaging in sexual activity with women. Often in these fantasies, I am watching the two of them from a hidden place. Sometimes I am involved and it’s a threesome situation. Similarly, when I masturbate, I am rarely involved in my own fantasies. I usually have to use erotic literature or pornographic films in order to reach orgasm.
I became sexually aware at an early age. I began masturbating as a child and remember being conscious of it being a sexual act. I would often steal my mother’s romantic novels or sneak downstairs late at night to watch soft-core pornography on TV.
I’ve recently tried testing myself, seeing if I could reach orgasm without my fantasies and I can’t seem to do so. I feel like I’m “cheating” somehow, like whoever I’m engaging in a sexual activity with should be enough! Or I should at least be involved my own sexual fantasies more often.
—Wildly Active Imagination Lady
Dear Lady,
I can’t tell you with any scientific acuity what’s going on but I can tell you it’s very common. What can I say? Some people can’t get over themselves when they’re fucking—they want mirrors and cameras and reflective surfaces everywhere—while others require a little more privacy. Not that it’s any great consolation being an ally of the pervert sex columnist, but with a few small differences you could easily be describing my own childhood and ensuing sexual persona. Did you also make girls uncomfortable at sleepover parties by forcing them to stay up and watch softcore movies on TVA? Is a dream orgy for you sitting unnoticed in a corner with a vibrator and a six-pack of batteries watching people screw?
The amount of porn that exists isn’t really a reassuring barometer of its normalcy (on the contrary, the glut can be depressing) but the fact that it does exist, and with such wide-ranging tastes in mind, says we all have different ways of opening the floodgates. If you are interested in being more “present” during sex, open that mouth and share your fantasy. You may find your partner has some unexpected techniques for getting off as well.
Got any questions for Sasha? E-MAIL: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM |
