Booze and
sex save lives!

by JACK OATMON

What says you can’t get sloshed and support a really important cause or two at the same time? Other than simple common sense, that is. As if you didn’t already feel like a trooper for sticking it out through bafflingly frequent fuzz interventions at Main Hall, and defiantly thrusting a sudsy mug in the face of gentrification, the good folks in charge of new queer weekly “Faggity-Ass Fridays” have just tossed a few more pins on shit-faced activists’ sashes. I know what you’re thinking—what could possibly be more wholesome and unwaveringly altruistic than standing up for rock ’n’ roll, being rat-arsed drunk and being LGBT-friendly all at once? Well, throw in a World AIDS Day fundraiser and you’ve got yourself a little jamboree that’s guaranteed wholesome fun for the whole family, this Friday, Nov. 30. Did I mention there’s going to be zombie burlesque? The Dead Dolls Dancers will be there in full pestilence, elevating necrophilia to brave new levels of accessibility. I peeped their show a couple of weeks back at Café Cleopatre, and the ol’ rigor mortis set in with a vengeance. Tony Ezzy will bring the funk, DJ B’Ugo will man the wax and an enormous roster of guest speakers and politicized postcards to politicians will keep crowds warm and fuzzy all night.

On a completely unrelated note, I recently caught up with Montreal’s beloved DJ Sean Kosa and got the skinny on his adventures in the ’Stans. Behold!

Mirror: Lemme get this straight—where the hell are you again, and why?

Sean Kosa: Actually, I’m in Almaty, Kazakhstan right now. The usual reasons. The journey for self-discovery, the boundless joys of travel, regaining control of the few remaining particles of functional brain matter left over after 10 years in Montreal. And money.

M: Now that you’ve successfully escaped the clutches of this dustbowl, are there any vindictive messages you’d like to send back while you’re out of proximity of reprisal?

SK: No, of course not. My time spent in the Fan Mountains in Tajikistan has actually cleansed my body and soul of any negative feelings towards anyone in particular.

M: Wow. That’s sweet. What’s it like over there in Kazakhstan?

SK: I’m in the old capital city, which is just gorgeous and surrounded by mountains. It’s a fairly cosmopolitan city—multicultural and similar in size to Montreal. Great clubs, etc. After I had mastered the French language in Montreal, I felt that it was time to master Russian. And it’s going quite swimmingly.

M: Really? Can you feel the cold tendrils of communism still lurking in the alleyways?

SK: Communism was a warm, loving thing, really. A lot people actually miss it, to be quite honest. It was a great empire and it’s sad that it’s gone.

M: What is your favourite thing about countries that end in “-stan”? Indulge us poor schmucks whose perceptions come exclusively from Dick Cheney and Sacha Baron Cohen.

SK: There is a dish called plov, which is a peasant’s dish of rice, goat, horsemeat, raisins and beans, all cooked in vegetable oil and goat fat. It’s incredible.

Next week: Men Without Hats discovered in Banda Aceh!
jack.oatmon@gmail.com