He’s come undone

Assuming he was like most children, at some point in his youth, Wayne K. Simpson heard his mother tell him that he’d lose his own head if it wasn’t attached. Well it took a while, but at the age of 52, Simpson finally proved the old lady right. Thankfully, Pontiac, Illinois police were around to find the head. Unfortunately, Wayne was in no condition to thank them.

Police were tipped to Wayne’s fate by a caller reporting a tow truck weaving its way across both lanes of a highway. When police arrived at the scene, they found the truck in a ditch, Simpson’s headless corpse in the driver’s seat. Knowing that it was unlikely he’d gotten into the truck that way, they looked around a bit. Not far away in a parking lot, they found a head and immediately knew it was no coincidence.

According to police, the despondent Simpson left a note bidding his farewells, then tied a chain around a pole in the parking lot, got into his truck, tied the other end of the chain around his neck, and hit the gas in a completely awesome rending in twain of his mortal coil.

by Scott Saxon